Breaking...
Following on the heals of the
recent court case lost by Tom Delay, where Delay's name must remain on the 22nd Texas congressional ballot, a new Republican candidate has entered the ring, Stom DeLey.
Little is known about Deley, other then what is released from his campaign website, DeleynotDelay.com. On it he states that he was once majority whip in the Texas ass whippers congressional delegation, going by the nickname, "the big ass". Most famously during this time he redistricted the Texas legislature, giving 249 of the 250 Texas seats to Crawford, claiming that God lived there. He said the last seats will go to "some other part of Texas, but not Austin, those people are fruits. And Texans aren't fruits." He then swallowed an entire banana.
Stom holds many of the beliefs of the Republican party. He has promised to cut Socials Security because "It's Social." He also supports the NRA, because "Somebody has to shoot those fruits." He then swallowed another banana.
Some say Deley is riding on the back of "Teve Torbes", a famous Republican operative in the mid 1990's. Many thought Torbes was Steve Forbes. Deley in reference to Delay responded, "we are obviously not the same person, if we were we'd be clones. And as far as I know, we do not yet have the technology to clone a human." When a commenter noted that we might indeed have the technology to clone a human, Deley told them to "Shut up, I'm Stom Deley, I was majority whip in the Texas state whippers congressional delegation, and I will end you." Deley went on to claim the poster was none other then Rarbara Foxer, a Democratic senator from the state of Fraleefornia.
Deley said he will run under Delay's name, but if Delay is reelected then Deley will take over his spot. "We tried to get Deley on the ballot but the activist judge Sam Sparks ruled against us. Not to worry though, if I get elected, activist judges will be no-more, I will pass legislation making the RNC our new judicial system. To those that oppose us, God told me to, are you saying God is wrong?"
Delay said he will support Deley, saying "Deley is just like me, except not, I'm Tom Delay and he's Stom Deley."