Lest you think this is just snark, these are real e-mails. I have been corresponding with Nedd K. from Stop the ACLU. You know it's conventional wisdom that you can't argue with a fool. Well instead of just Nedd K. being the fool, I thought I'd stoop to his level. Just for fun. No I'm not posting his address and phone #. I'm not that much of a scum bag. I'm just jerking him around. Christians like him have an accute persecution complex. I figure I'd help him feel justified. Here's the back and forth e-mails between Nedd K. and I so far. (My notes will be in []'s)
Please recommend this diary if you like it. I seriously spent two hours on this peice of shit. If you don't, I will post your address and where your kids go to school on the internet. Neddward and his friends will hunt you down like the liberal scum that you are! Muahahahaha!.
E-mail #1 to Nedd K. -
Title - Thank God for Stop the ACLU Coalition
To whom it may concern,
Just like the Dobrich's you should post all the addresses of known ACLU clients in our area. We could have another Kristolnacht. Don't listen to your critics. If Jesus was here the first thing He would do is have a blacklist of all those that oppose the teachings of His righteousness. Run the infidels back to Isreal or Saudi Arabia. Or send them straight to hell. They're going there anyways. It's nice to know that there are other Christians, like myself, who aren't afraid to crush people who won't accept God's truth. If we can't beat the ACLU in the Satan-dominated courts then fear and intimidation will have to do. You and I both know that there are people that are more commited than you and I that are willing to actually do "something" with an address of somebody's (flamable) house. Fire purifies, if you know what I mean. I mean, I would NEVER do anything like burn some sinner's house down. But God just might make it happen if we pray hard enough, if you get what I'm saying. We are instruments of God's will and when he calls us to act we must act. No matter what the cost. So please post more addresses ASAP so God's will be done.
In the love of Christ,
Intercaust
First repley from Nedd K. -
RE: I would NEVER do anything like burn some sinner's house down.
Did I say that? If so, where?[Actually, I said that. Moron.]
Looks like all you libs are trying to gang up on me on this one matter because you have no substance to any argument you can make.[Yes! The ACLU has no substance to their arguments. That's why they keep winning in court.] Bring them on. You guys are the loony best![Ah shucks. He says we're the best.]
What makes you a Christian? Did you become "born again"? [Here's where he scares the shit out of me with threats of eternal damnation.] If you die tonight, would you know you're going to Heaven? If so, what would you tell the Lord? Why He should allow you in?[To get into heaven I will take the Judge out on a hunting trip like Cheney took Scalia. I'd get in for sure. You don't rule against your hunting buddies. Even if you are the Judge of all man's deeds.] Think about your answer because I seriously doubt you are a Christian.[Judge not?]
Sincerely,
Nedd K.
My reply to that -
How dare you question my faith! I have been washed in the blood of Christ. Not like some filthy Jew sinner who murdered our savior.[I have nothing against Jews. I just thought by saying that that I would trick him into thinking I am a "real" Christian.]
OK, I'm not really a Christian.[I got tired of pretending already.] I just felt like fucking with a self-righteous shit-bag and you were the first one that came to mind.
Hell awaits ass hole.
God bless the ACLU!!!
His reply -
Thank you for your message. I attempt to answer all e-mails within 24-48 hours.
Keep in mind that your purchases at our store support the Coalition. To visit our store, go to http://www.bizarrefun.com/... [Now he's trying to hock his cheap shit on me. "Hi I'm Neddward. I work for God. Wanna buy a t-shirt for the kids that says "ACLU = ANTI-CHRTISTIAN LAWYERS UNION" or maybe a "LYNCH THE CLIENTS OF THE ACLU" bumper sticker?"]
If you are a liberal and responding to the blogs that are criticizing our web site, we will respond to you at our discretion. If you are interested in name calling and verbal attacks, you will most definitely not get a reply.[O rly? Looks like I got a return. Must have been a slow day at the Nazi HQ.]
God bless the USA!
Nedd Kareiva
Director[I'll bet Neddward feels important to call himself director. It's better than what they used to call him in high school - Neddward Le Douche.]
My reply -
Oh if forgot. Contact info so your minions can try to fuck with somebody who isn't afraid of you.
Marc Johnson
324 West E st.
Rainier, OR 97048
[You might think I shouldn't send him my address but I figure if everybody did then they wouldn't be able to single any one person out. I'm not some chickenshit behind a keyboard like Neddward and his ilk. I'll take these fuckers head on.]
Don't call. My parents that I live with are born-againers like you and it would really upset them if their own people turned against them. It's not their fault their son is the anti-Christ. Please send hate mail or people to kick my ass. Thanks.
God bless the ACLU!!!
His loving reply -
[He sent a couple hilarious gif files. Well, they're not that funny to me but to Nedd K. I'm sure they are a hoot.]
http://fapomatic.com/...
http://fapomatic.com/...
You would be wise to listen to your parents.[That's what they say and still I don't.] You're damn lucky they allow you to stay there. With your filthy mouth, I'd toss you out on your lily white ass[And he says I have a filthy mouth?] if I was your dad.[How does he know my ass is lily white? Hidden camera next to my toilet? Nah. If he did he'd probably mention how fat, zitty AND lily white it is.]
Oh, you're from Oregon? That figures why you are so nutty. I see the picture clearly now.
[Neddward confirms what I have always thought. EVERYBODY in Oregon is fucking crazy. What do you expect? We all do tons of meth, weed and hang out in strip clubs. I mean, we did produce Tonya Harding.]
Sincerely,
Nedd
My next volley -
I'm nutty from years of being molested by a youth pastor.[OK. This is a lie. I wasn't molested for years. It was just twice and he paid me for it. OK that isn't true either. It just seemed like the thing to say at the time. Now that I reflect it probably wasn't but I can't unring that bell now.] So fuck you ass hole.[That wasn't very nice either. Oh well.]
In Christ's love,
Intercaust
I forgot. Are you going to send people to kick my ass in Jesus' name or what? I'm getting tired of waiting.
I'll update if I get anymore love from my dearest Neddward K.
Cross-posted on http://i-hate-politics.blogspot.com/
*UPDATE - I just had to apologize for not playing nicey-nice.*
*My next e-mail* -
I'm sorry I said fuck you and called you an ass hole. Can we still be friends?
In the heterosexual love of Christ,
Intercaust