I didn't expect to be going back so soon, but I found myself driving through Connecticut again last Saturday morning on the way to Tennessee without a clue what to put in my next column.
Anyway, when I saw the sign along Interstate 84, the "Silver Diner" sounded good so I took the exit and turned right as directed by the "Food" sign. Because that put me on a deserted country road, I immediately began to suspect I was getting the old Massachusetts fake-out. That's where you take an exit in Massachusetts that claims to have a Citgo station and you follow a lonely rural road that leads to, say, Pennsylvania. Much to my surprise, I actually came to the Silver Diner.
I took a booth and a waitress took my order. She had a very soft voice and a shy demeanor so I didn't detect her accent until she brought my breakfast. It struck me as Middle Eastern; the accent I mean. The breakfast was uninspired corn beef hash and eggs. She was pretty with dark hair and liquid eyes and her English was more than adequate for handling guys like me. I was pleased with her service until the end when she committed a serious offense - she made me wait for my bill. I hate that because it wastes my time and I AM A VERY BUSY MAN.
Well, I had to go and she was nowhere in sight so I got up and stood at the counter with my wallet out. Soon she appeared out of the kitchen with a bowl of oatmeal for another customer. She gave me a smile that incapacitated the annoyed parts of my brain while she served the other guy. When she returned, she wrote my column.
"So, you want to take it out?" she asked playfully as she sorted through the five checks that were scattered before me on the counter. At first I thought she was talking about a doggie bag but then I realized I had cleaned my plate. I muttered something noncommittal (and, if truth be told, non-intelligible) in a tone of voice designed to sound friendly. She realized that I did not understand and made as if she were searching for a word.
"Take? No, give?" she said as she came up with my check. My own light bulb finally came on and I said, "Oh, you want to have it out?"
"You want to have it out right here?" She countered with a grin. "$6.95."
I chuckled and gave her a generous tip with some extra thrown in for giving me the present of this essay.
The GOP has decided to make "immigration reform" one of their key distractions going into the November elections. Their strategy is simple: play on people's fear. Fear was also their technique for convincing most Americans (and a Congress incapable of independent thought) to go along with their worst idea since doubling the national debt - starting the war in Iraq.
The GOP wants you to distrust immigrants, fear them and focus on them while Congress and the president argue over ID cards, fences and security. Focused? OK, stay that way until after November, then you can relax because they won't care anymore.
My waitress is probably not an illegal immigrant, but when the GOP encourages bigotry and fear, all immigrants pay the price. My waitress had the courage to attempt a joke in a language she is still learning. She was working on her English as she served me and she didn't even need a federal law telling her to do that.
Conservatives like to frame the debate. Let me frame this one. It's about my charming waitress with the courage to make a joke in an unfamiliar language. It's also about fixing our problems by doing something, not by blaming innocent people.
Conservatives want you to fear and suspect illegal immigrants so they can pretend to make you safe. Meanwhile, the simple solution to illegal immigration is deliberately ignored. That is to prevent American businesses from hiring them. Stop that, and the illegals will go away. Wonder why Congress doesn't do that? It's because the American businesses that hire illegals want it that way and, if you thought Congress represents the people, you haven't been paying attention.
The Republicans think we are a bunch of morons. We're not, but we need to stop electing them to run our country. Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist thinks our two most important priorities are preventing gay marriage and flag burning. If you do not agree with that, there's a big clue there.