The confluence of recent events has led me to question the future, if any, that I might have here as a contributor at DailyKos.
While I have greatly enjoyed my tenure here as a highly paid and intermittently respected diary writer - and gratis comment contributor - I now find myself wondering whether my services on this site are needed or appreciated, as Markos himself assured me they would be when first he recruited me for this assignment.
I admit that it has, by most measures, been a fairly cushy assignment to date: Every morning I wake up, scan the blogs and the news sites, and, like a heavily-laden dessert cart that is trundled over to my table, the Republicans spread before me a mind-boggling selection of delectable tidbit after delectable sordid tidbit. "What will it be this morning, sir?" they seem to ask beseechingly, as the gaze of my gleaming eyes is cast over the bountiful offering of stupid/evil/criminal/unconstitutional/venal/wasteful/incompetent pratfalls that pass for Republican governance nowadays, each dainty more laden with fat and scrumptious badness than the next. The most difficult part is choosing.
"Hmm," I say, pointing delicately, "perhaps I'll try that delightful little lemon-glazed environmental fiasco right there." But then my gaze might shift -
"No," I may say. "No, no, no. Actually, I think I would prefer something lighter, more fluff-filled - ah! That column by Jonah Goldberg is just the trick! Yes, that one, please."
But, alas, the bounty is too great: "Perhaps you would like to try the Propaganda Pie?" the waiter coyly suggests, passing the plate teasingly close enough for me to whiff just the suggestion of impropriety. "Or the Body-Armor Crème Brulee? Or perhaps this luscious goody on NSA spying - it's got fewer calories, due to its complete lack of Congressional oversight." Aghh! It's sheer torture, having to make these decisions!
So, finding grist for the 100 diaries I have thus far written has not proven difficult. But the logical extension of that truth is disconcerting: If the Republicans lose power in Congress in November, my cornucopia will dry up, will shrivel to nothingness, and with it my creative Muse.
The other possibility, loudly and openly - and, I will admit, disconcertingly - bandied about on this site over the past few days, is that DailyKos itself is on the verge of implosion. And, needless to say, if that happens, I am out of a highly-paid job. I'm worried that the fat royalty checks Markos has been sending me every other week will dry up, or - incalculably more painful - that I will no longer have the favor of The Great Leader Himself.
But other events have led me to believe that that point may already have been passed. What has really convinced me that it may be time to move on is the unforgivably callous way Markos has treated me. It was when the auspicious occasion of my 100th diary came and went without the promised fanfare that I really began to question my prospects on DKos. I rushed to the mailbox that day, eagerly anticipating receipt of the engraved invitation to the white-tie gala in my honor that Markos had so cavalierly (as I know now) promised me in order to entice my participation as a liberal shill, as well as the fat bonus check he lied about.
But alas, no such envelope arrived. Five or six were addressed to "Occupant," but none to "Occams Hatchet," and I could only console myself with the pathetic rationalization that somehow the sender had misunderstood the spelling of my name. Surely there was just an oversight in transcription, I told myself. Yes, that's it, I'm sure. But the truth cannot be avoided: I am not wanted here anymore.
Somehow I expected more of Kos. Broken promises, I (naively) thought, were the special bailiwick of the right. But it seems now that even The People Who Pull The Strings on the left are capable of duplicity and an utter lack of ethical business principles, too.
A deal is a deal, and I have lived up to my end of the deal, with honor and an eye to the bottom line. I foolishly thought that I was to be part of the vanguard of the New Wave of Democratic political blogging, a vanguard that understood the nuances and the elegant self-correcting mechanisms of The Free Market.
But I was misled. I have only myself
- and Markos -
- and all of you Kossacks -
- and the entire Liberal Media Machine -
- and Bill Clinton -
- to blame.
I will be submitting my resume to Free Republic forthwith.