Yo, Bush! [
http://www.youtube.com/...]
Do you have any idea how much you suck? Are you, like, down with that? Do you have any idea just how many of us would rather cut out our tongues than speak your name, would rather gouge out our eyes than behold your gnarly visage, would rather hear the hissing of snakes in hell than the thin, evil gruel that is your voice? Do you have any clue that you are already voted in as Worst President Ever? Has it occurred to you that you will be hounded to the end of your days, long after Cheney has stopped telling you what to do and Rove has quit instructing you how to disguise the fact? Yo, Bush: do you understand us when we say we're going to stop YOUR shit?
Let us count the ways you suck and tell you what we're going to do about it:
1. You are a traitor, a criminal, and a scoundrel. You helped expose a CIA agent, and you lied about what you know and what you did. You tortured prisoners, against the dictates of all U.S. and international law, and you sought first to hide the facts, then to circumvent the law, then to rewrite the law in explicit contravention of the Constitution. These are impeachable offenses, and we will not stop until we see you impeached.
2. You are a murderer and a failed statesman. Because of your profound hubris and ignorance, you initiated a war on false pretenses, leading to thousands of pointless deaths. Because of your lack of leadership, you have failed to seek resolution of international conflicts, leading to thousands more deaths. These are crimes against humanity, and we will not rest until you are held to account.
3. You are a greedy, selfish bastard who serves other greedy, selfish bastards. During your tenure, the national deficit has exploded, the U.S. economy has been put in jeopardy, millions of jobs have been lost, and the country's middle class, working poor, and poor have been hung out to dry. Your gifts to friends, in the form of tax cuts, government contracts, and outright graft, have reached corrupt levels heretofore unimagined by even the most heinous of world leaders. We will not relent until balance is restored, your cronies repay their debt to this country, and Halliburton is permanently shuttered.
4. You are heartless and un-American. While you picked up twigs in Texas, millions of your fellow citizens suffered and died in New Orleans. Your neglect was monumental and will be reflected in the history books. Your evasion of responsibility, combined with your deceit, have marked you as a worthy object of derision not only in New Orleans, but in every city of every state from now until you finally die. We will not take a moment's rest until we enact fair minimum wage laws, protect Social Security, institute a National Health Care program, and undo the myriad traitorous acts you committed to make agencies like EPA and FEMA serve corporations instead of citizens.
5. You are a moron and a boor. For your voluminous ignorance of fact and history, you shall forever be remembered as The National Dunce. For your inability to cogitate, to reflect, and to articulate, you will be the object of utmost derision anywhere two or more people with even a brain cell between them gather. For your belittlement of the sciences, you will always be the butt of jokes. For what you did to kill the intellectual potential of American children during your dumb, dumb tenure, the men's restroom at the Department of Education will be the only thing named after you. We will not stop referring to you as the Idiot in Chief until we have forgotten you, which we hope will be soon.
6. You are an ill-mannered, slovenly jackass. For your inability to comb your own hair, properly button your own shirt, or to close your mouth while chewing, you shall enjoy vilification on Comedy Central until the year 2108. We will build a small statue showing you in a cheerleading uniform, with your fly unzipped. We may also choose to add a box to your back, so that we remember both the ignorance and deceit you brought to the presidential debates.
7. You are a liar and a pretender. Oh ye of the failed corporation, the screwy business deal: you will be immortalized in a movie called "The Fuck Up" which will be shown at every business school, in every chamber of commerce, and at all corporate meetings. Businesspeople everywhere will soon preface every decision with the statement, "Let's not fuck up like that Shrub guy." Also, a special course will be created and taught at Yale and Harvard called "How Not to Fuck Up Like That Shrub Guy," and it will be a required course.
8. You are a braggart and a coward. Though you like to call yourself "a war president" and "the decider," you were a frightened, chickenshit young man who hid behind his father and a frightened, chickenshit adult who sacrificed other citizens' children. For this, we will bury you wearing your "Mission Accomplished" codpiece -- on your face. After you're gone, the Department of Defense will get a complete overhaul -- supervised by John Kerry.
9. You are a fake Christian and a real jerk. Because of your fake religiosity, and your astounding lack of respect for other cultures, religions, and points of view, even atheists will refer to you as "the beast." We will not say prayers when you are ill, or have trouble, or at your funeral. After Edward Kennedy and Eliot Spitzer deliver comedic eulogies, we will throw a kegger, and we will laugh and joke and dance.
10. You are a national and international embarrassment. Generations hence will ponder how many votes were stolen, how many dirty tricks were played, and how sure you were that you could subvert the will of the people and the tenets of the Constitution. They will marvel that you thought you had every Republican in your pocket, and most of the Democrats, too -- and that not only could you screw your countrymen, you could screw the entire world. And they'll recall with undying respect and gratitude that a new generation of leaders rose up and stopped your shit. We're not going to take a single pause until we're coming at you from every corner of the country; men and women, gay and straight, old and young, wonky and wily -- new representatives hellbent on the restoration of honesty, clarity, and fairness in America. We're going to build you a presidential library, all right -- a single holer outhouse in Crawford, Texas where Cindy Sheehan is going to place the sole volume: My Pet Goat.
Yo, Bush! We're coming at you big time and we intend to stop your shit.