Shhhh. It's time that everybody quiets down. The moderates, centrists, and independents may be listening.
I know that you think your opinions are good. You probably think that your positions are the correct ones. But let me ask you something. Would all the moderates, centrists, and independents in this country agree with you? If not, then you are wrong. You are a left-handed lefty leftist way out in left field. And you are scaring the moderates, centrists, and independents. And therefore, you are destroying the Democratic party.
In order to win elections in this country, you have to get more votes than the other candidate(s). Most Democrats will vote for Democratic candidates and most Republicans will vote for Republican candidates. That means that elections are either won or lost with the moderates, centrists, and independents. As a result, we cannot afford to piss them off for any reason. For some reason, though, many people on this website do not seem to mind if they piss them off.
Take, for a recent example, stem cell research. Now, it may be true that facts, science, and public opinion are solidly in favor of stem cell research. However, there are a few moderates, centrists, and independents who will cry real tears when they hear about how you want to take cells out of a little baby's stem. Ask yourself this question: Can a little baby protect itself from a mad scientist trying to steal cells out of the baby's stem? This is a very simple yes or no question. Some moderates, centrists, and independents realize that NO, a little baby cannot protect its stem from mad scientist cell-thieves. And we cannot afford to tell them they are wrong. Not if we want them to vote for us in November.
Are you still not convinced? Well, try this on for size.
Some uber-liberal lefty pinko commie moonbat Democrats want to let gay people get married. But this frightens some moderates, centrists, and independents. They will say that gay marriage is a slope that is covered in cherry-scented K-Y jelly. They say that if you let gay people get married, then pretty soon they will want to have other rights normally reserved for heterosexuals. Like gay people might want to raise foster kids or adopt children or even teach children in public schools, corrupting innocent children with homo radiation. These gay people may also want to add their partners to their health insurance policy, and in extreme cases the gay people might want to be able to visit each other in hospitals. And can you tell the moderates, centrists, and independents that their fears are not justified? Many gay rights supporters will come right out and say that they will fight for all those rights I just mentioned. Some moderates, centrists, and independents would be very concerned about this, which is why we really should stop talking about gay rights if we really want to win elections.
Now, I am sure most of you are now convinced by now. But there are still some far-out extremist wacko liberal leftists who are still holding out. So for their benefit, I present yet another case.
A few years ago, we went to war in Iraq. Our mission was to locate massive stockpiles of nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons. It was also to bring a peaceful, stable democracy to Iraq. Also, we were going to spread that democracy to the entire Middle East. We were going to make the Middle East a peaceful place, where neighbors peacefully coexisted with one another. Democracies, we were told, do not wage wars with other democracies. Furthermore, we were going to end global terrorism. Now, some moderates, centrists, and independents are concerned that Democrats want the United States to withdraw from Iraq without accomplishing even ONE of those objectives!
Naturally, this makes moderates, centrists, and independents very nervous. They are even more nervous when they see Joe Lieberman being challenged in the Democratic primary by Ned Lamont. Joe understands that just because a war was based on a lie, and is not accomplishing anything, and is actually destabilizing the region and making things worse, and just because young men and women are dying for no good reason -- that is not a good reason to leave. Would Ned Lamont or one of the other heroes of the lefty liberal blogosphere understand that line of reasoning? That's right, they wouldn't.
Joe Lieberman stands firmly on the moderate, centrist, and independent side of issues besides the war, though. For example, many lefty leftist bloggers think that if a woman gets raped, she has a right to take a pill that will help prevent her from getting pregnant. Other people feel that every sperm is sacred, even sacred rapist sperm, and want the woman to just quit their bitching and carry their rapist's progeny to term. But Joe Lieberman knows there is a middle ground, a way to give neither side what they want! A woman can take this pill, he says. All she has to do is pull her torn clothes back on, wipe off the blood and the tears, get in her car and drive miles and miles away, and hopefully find somewhere that could actually be bothered to give a flying fuck.
Now, would a leftist like Howard Dean or Russ Feingold say that to a rape victim? You're damn right they wouldn't. And yet this blog, which is supposedly in favor of getting Democrats elected, idolizes leftists like these, while shunning Joe Lieberman.
And come Tuesday, if Ned Lamont beats Joe Lieberman in the primary, it will send a chill through moderates, centrists, and independents everywhere. If Joe Lieberman and his others like him in the Democratic party are purged in this inquisition, then where will the moderates, centrists, and independents go when they want someone who supports a disasterous, illegal war based on lies? Where will they go when they want someone who will vote against a filibuster and allow radical right-wing extremists onto the Supreme Court bench? Where else can they turn when they want someone to further traumatize rape victims? Who else will stand up and call Alberto Gonzales's torture memo "reasonable"?
Well, okay, Republicans, I guess. But who ELSE? Stumped you, didn't I?
Now that you can see how badly you're hurting the Democratic Party, you have no excuse to continue. Especially when it's so easy to fix things. And in order to make things even easier, here is a helpful guide to conversing with a moderate, centrist, or independent.
SCENARIO #1
CENTRIST VOTER: I am a centrist voter, and I think that those folks in Kansas were right -- we SHOULD teach children in science class that the world is only a couple thousand years old and that dinosaur fossils were put here on earth by God as a test of our faith! That's just as valid a theory as evolution is! Actually, even more so, because I have the Bible as proof and the scientists don't have any proof at all!
YOU: I believe that is a completely reasonable point of view and not at all one that I would expect from a four year old retarded kid.
SCENARIO #2
MODERATE VOTER: As a moderate voter, I think that the government should spy on all Americans 24/7. I don't think we're doing enough right now -- if they can fill that Big Brother All Star house on TV with all those cameras and microphones, then I think they can do it with every American's house. I'd like to see a terrorist try to plan another attack on America with all those cameras recording them! And if you don't have anything to hide, then you shouldn't have a problem with it!
YOU: That is a perfectly credible view concerning Homeland Security. I am not currently wondering how you managed to say all that without drooling all over yourself.
SCENARIO #3
INDEPENDENT VOTER: I'm an independent voter and I think everybody's making a big deal about this whole global warming business. I read this article where hundreds and hundreds of ecology scientists and climatologists and meteorologists and earth scientists had a press conference and said that global warming is real, that human activities are dramatically contributing to it, and that if we didn't do something soon, we would be in a world of hurt. However, there was this other article I saw in some magazine earlier this week and there was this one guy who is the Director of Weather Predicting Type Stuff at the Calvin County GED and Adult Learning School and he said that it was just that the sun was shining more. So I'm not sure either way. It's a big debate, and the jury's still out.
YOU: Well with that much conflicting evidence, how can anyone make up their minds?
And so, in conclusion, we as a party can attract moderates, centrists, and independents to the Democratic Party, and all it will take is abandoning everything that the Democratic Party stands for. I can't see the downside there. So the next time that you want to say something that represents intelligent, well-thought-out liberal, progressive, or Democratic thought, I implore you to think twice. And then silently say to yourself, "Shhh.... the moderates, centrists, and independents are listening."