Since the blistering ruling against the Bush administration by Judge Anna Diggs Taylor, kossacks have been celebrating. Bush accused us of not understand how the world works. Well, fellow kossacks I'm here to explain it to you. Think of it as a public service.
FISA
Doing warrantless eavesdropping on Americans is the American way. It's really incovenient to have to do paperwork, everyone knows this. Besides, Lincoln and FDR violated FISA, even though it didn't exist yet.
Dissent
Dissent is really, really bad for this country. This is true because the military is really sensitive. It hurts their feelings if you don't like the mission they are carrying out. If their feelings are hurt, that means they won't do a good job, and noone wants that to happen, do they? The same goes for the administration and Congress. Their feelings are very sensitive and it makes it really hard to count your money when you're crying.
You might think that this country was founded on dissent, but that's not true. It was actually founded on the dislike of taxes and we know which party dislikes taxes, don't we?
War on Terror
You only win the war on terror if you are very, very afraid. You must be afraid all the time, otherwise the terrorists have won. Believing that terrorism is scary, but not the most urgent threat in your life means you have a pre-9/11 mindset.
We only win the War on Terror when everybody in the world loves us. The way we get everyone to love us is to fight wars. You see, Saddam Hussein was the source of all bad things in the world. Now that Saddam is gone, the world is a much safer place. Those Iraqis that are fighting us are just ungrateful dead-enders who hate freedom.
Now do you see why we have to stay in Iraq forever? How will Iraqis learn to love us if we don't stay around and show them what is best for them?
Elections
Terrorists really, really care about American politics. They followed the Connecticut Senate primary very closely. Even though only 10% of Americans even know who Ned Lamont is, the terrorists were very concerned about this. The terrorists don't like Lieberman because he realizes the importance of being scared all the time.
Culture of Life
We should err on the side of life. Really we mean "innocent life." The only true innocent life are fetuses and people in persistent vegetative states. Iraqi and Lebanese civilians don't count as innocent life because they don't live in America.