Reuters -
The FBI detained Popeye, the gruff, but lovable sailor man, early this morning on suspected terrorism charges related to the outbreak of e-coli tainted spinach.
I find this hard to believe. Popeye was a war hero known for his sense of fair play and now he has to have his good name dragged through the mud? Two questions immediately pop to mind. Was the e-coli outbreak a biological attack by terrorists and, if so, is Popeye really responsible?
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Popeye is well-known for his use of spinach as a weapon of choice.
First of all, this is just shoddy reporting. Yes, Popeye used spinach as a weapon in the loosest sense of the term. He ate spinach because it made him strong. I mean for Christ's sake, he's "strong to the finish because he eats his spinach." Why would someone who depended on spinach for strength take the chance of contracting e-coli by tainting the nation's spinach supply?
Check this out:
Interestingly, Popeye's spinach obsession began in the Thimble Theatre strip but became an indispensable plot device in his later animated adventures. Spinach capital Crystal City, Texas, erected a statue in 1937 to honor E.C. Segar and Popeye for their influence on America's eating habits, making Popeye the first cartoon character ever immortalized in public sculpture. The spinach growers credited Popeye with a 33 percent increase in U.S. spinach consumption -- and saving the spinach industry in the 1930s!
Not only did he save the spinach industry in the `30's, he's also heavily invested today.
Today the sailorman has made Popeye-brand canned spinach the No. 2 brand behind Del Monte and he has his own brand of fresh spinach, salads and fresh vegetable snacks.
I expect conspiracy theorists will say that Popeye wants to be number 1, so he arranged this outbreak to somehow gain market share. But, if the entire industry suffers what good will that do? Besides:
Popeye is an underdog with a long fuse and a keen sense of fair play. Everyone identifies with him when he finally says, "Tha's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!"
It seems pretty clear to me that there is no way Popeye is a terrorist. It just doesn't add up. But, apparently, they have a signed confession.
I would consider my career as a terrorist. I would eat spinach and my muscles would pop and I would be ready to lay a really good beating on that bully named Bluto. In my fantasy I would give my patriarchal orders to that domineering system, and I would warn them that I was running out of patience. Then, when that system refused to become terrorized and give in to my demands, kaboom. Then they would get their next message warning them that I was running out of patience. You see, I was Popeye the terrorist man, and I had just eaten spinach.
I was remembering all this when I heard that latest message from Osama back in December. Osama told the American people that he was running out of patience with the American military machine being in Iraq. Watch out, said Osama, or Kaboom. You see, like me, Osama is Popeye. He is eating spinach right now, and then he is going to beat up Bluto. I understand the mind of a `terrorist'...
If you read closely, you'll see that this confession is rambling, at best. Further, it doesn't really sound like the Popeye I know.
One has to wonder exactly what horrible methods were used to force a confession out of Popeye, perhaps the strongest sailor the world has ever known.
Meanwhile, Bluto walks today a free man.
Not surprising In today's America, where the lines between right and wrong, and good and evil has been blurred to the point where war heroes are cowards and draft dodgers are heroes.
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