Anxiety Verses, September 29, 2006
After reading 146 calls to action in DKos and email, I spewed this:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i should be out there
i am afraid
i am dispirited
i am weary
i am grieving
i should be out there
in here it's warm
in here i know my way
in here i am safer
in here i can pretend i'm alive
i should be out there
out there is promise
out there is fighting
out there is celebration
out there is life
can't they win the revolution without me?
i can't believe i'm that important.
i am beset on all sides
but no force is as cruel
as the force of fear inside me
it doesn't stop
it merely shifts focus
to keep me off balance
hey, i fought in the streets and made righteous noise
thirty-five years ago
i got us out of viet nam
what more do you want from me?
i gave my teeth in the service of our Mc-onomy
and of that iron Master, Depression.
i gave my attractiveness in the service of my mother
and because there was no future after her
now i have love
thousands of miles away, true.
a love just as true as distance
for the first time, and i'm old now
i want to be left alone with my love
to ward off his fears and give him comfort
to laugh with him and hold him
(and he loves me without my teeth and attractiveness
can you beat that?)
is it only a myth?
do we have to keep working to earn good things?
Isn't there a time when we can stop sweating
and start enjoying?
please don't ask me for more money
please don't tell me I should fight in the streets
i'm tired and i want to stay home
and wait for my lover