Since I'm admittedly a moron, but not gay, I am putting forth an idea that at first glance may seem biased, absurd, perhaps moronic, even. Well, on second, third, and 99th, too. But hear me out on this one.
Back when I was at Hollywood High School, I'm safe in saying that not one of my gay friends would ever have passed up a chance to give the local congressman a hummer. And I'm not talking a four-wheeled gas guzzler here (BTW-gas was 25 cents a gallon). It's about proximity to power, pure and simple.
It is my firm belief that only Gay Old Republican Politicans (GORPs) are dangerous to our society, our constitution, and the Global War on Terror. --MoronMike
It has been my pleasure to have known a lot of gays in my life. Intelligent, fun, cultured, funny, politically aware, hysterically funny. Tragic figures, too. But not one of them is now, nor has ever been, a Republican.
I was born here and lived here up until 1967. I returned in 1980 after a stint in Washington, D.C., but not to be with gay people. I live in Hollywood. Actually, the Hollywood Hills, but it's technically Hollywood, which is adjacent to West Hollywood, which is, beyond argument, the gayest spot on earth. So, how could a gay person argue with a straight face, pun intended, a Republican platform and agenda that effectively disenfranchises them? They can't, and they don't.
Gay Republicans do that -- exclusively. Especially the old ones. The old gay old queens on Capitol Hill are openly gay with their gay friends (just like gay Democrats), but unlike gay Democrats cover their gayness in public. These same Gay Old Republican Politicians can and do get elected and reelected on the basis of family values and social disenfranchisement, and pass laws that disenfranchise their souls, then hop right down to the local gay bar and salivate over 18-year old guys. Or 16-year old Congressional Pages if they're conducting research for their subcommittee on sexually exploited teens.
GORP's are repressed, ashamed, self-loathing, and fearful of being "outed." But like the rest of the gay community, and the rest of humanity, they need love and attention, too. But repression and fear and self-loathing cause Gay Old Republican Politicians to do things normal gays (intended oxymoron there) would never think of doing in regard to public policy. For example, when you've just disenfranchised your own soul, it's probably a lot easier to go along with Bush on Iraq if your own leadership promises to give you the keys to the candy store, or in this case, the Congressional Page dormitory. Or if, as a GORP, you happen to meet Muhammad in a D.C. gay bar, and find out only during pillow talk that he's one of the three thousand #2 al-Qaeda terrorists in Iraq, you do what he asks for fear of being outed. How may secrets have been given away because a GORP didn't want his secret gay identity revealed? Dangerous possibilities there, to be sure.
It is my contention that GORPs are dangerous folk, for a lot of reasons. I say out them all for the good of the country before the November elections. You see, I don't care if you're gay, Mr. GORP, just don't be so fucking hypocritical about it, okay?
Take this from a moron who doesn't know a single gay Republican, or want to.