I'm watching the very end of "The Princess Bride". I suddenly had this daft idea of the movie being a metaphor for American politics as we know them today.
I can't imagine there's anyone here who hasn't seen the movie at least a dozen times. But if there are virgins among us, here's the plotline in a nutshell:
Buttercup (Robin Wright) falls in love with a farmboy, Wesley (Cary Elwes). He leaves her to pursue his fortune so they can marry. Buttercup later finds out that he's been murdered by the Dread Pirate Roberts and pledges never to love again.
While he's gone, Prince Humperdink (Chris Sarandon) conspires to overtake the world by getting engaged to Buttercup and then arranging her kidnapping by mercernaries, with a plan to blame the abduction on a nearby kingdom.
As Buttercup's being stolen away, a mysterious man begins following her and the henchmen. The "Man in Black" beats all three kidnappers in a variety of ways and abducts Buttercup himself. It turns out the man is Wesley, who became the "Dread Pirate Roberts" when the original villain retired.
Wesley concedes Buttercup when confronted by the evil Humperdink. Instead of setting Wesley free as promised, Humperdink turns Wesley over to be tortured by the "Six Fingered Man" (a count whose name I don't remember off the top of my head).
As Buttercup's wedding day approaches, Wesley is saved from near-death (a long story involving Billy Crystal) by two of the original three kidnappers, Fezzik (Andre the Giant) and Inigo (Mandy Patinkin). Inigo has a grudge against the Six Fingered Man and takes his revenge. Fezzik kicks some ass. And Wesley rescues Buttercup and renders Humperdink impotent.
THE END
*******************
OK, so here are the character metaphors:
Wesley: The Democratic Party
Liberals in this country are predominantly represented by the Dems, who, contrary to the bullshit that comes out of the right wing, really and truly love this country. Democrats fought to save America, only to be outplayed in 2000 even though they were the good guys. The Dems nearly died as a result, running around like the floppy Wesley after Billy Crystal saved him.
Buttercup: America
America is willful and stubborn, but also willing to either believe or feign belief when there doesn't seem to be an alternative. She remains true to her potential and her dreams, however, and when the time for salvation arises, she joins hands with those who would rescue her.
Prince Humperdink: Dubya
Willing to manipulate, open to torture, and wanting to conquer the world, Shrub is a seemingly likeable dork, helped by jerkoffs who are smarter than he is.
The Six Fingered Man: Rove
Rove is the mastermind behind the smearing of every major Dem candidate (and some Rethugs, too) that has run for office in the last six or seven years. And there's just something odd about him.
Fezzik: The liberal blogospere
The blogosphere is a little dim witted at times (as evidenced by this diary!), but it's willing to fight for what it believes. It's strong and doesn't seem to know it's own strength.
Inigo: Whichever Dem wins the Presidency in 2008
I'm running out of steam here, since the movie is over and I'm kinda sleepy.
But who wouldn't want to confront Rove and say "Hello. My name is America. You killed our Constitution. Prepare to go to jail"?
Ok, so this is a stretch. Any opionions out there?