In recent days, I have seen a number of posts in which diarists attempt to make a convincing case against one or another of our potential 2008 candidates for the presidency. Despite the fact that what is inarguably the most important mid-term election most of us have been around to witness is a mere three weeks away, I too feel it necessary to enter the fray. Below the fold, I present a number of things that prohibit me from supporting myself two years from now.
1. Torture
While I in no way condone the torture of others, regardless of their trespasses, I have on occasion engaged in what can only be described as self-torture. I have, on at least one occasion, subjected myself to an entire episode of the late-80s Suzanne Sommers vehicle "She's The Sheriff". I have repeatedly wagered on the under-performing thoroughbred Noble Causeway, despite my better instincts. And, perhaps most notably, I dated a Republican for a couple of months in early-mid 2005.
2. Deficit Spending
I'm in debt. There, I said it. And what's more, I have no definite plan for alleviating that debt any time soon. Indeed, earlier this evening I was buying a six pack of beer with change, as I am pretty much broke. Clearly, fiscal responsibility is not my strong suit.
3. Temper
I'm not at all certain that I have the temperament necessary to carry out the duties of the office of the presidency. Just this past Saturday, my wife felt it necessary to calm me as I berated the television after what I perceived to be an incorrect officiating call during the Alabama - Ole Miss game. How can I be expected to hold it together in cabinet meetings?
4. Lack of Constitutional Respect
Lastly, upon consulting the calendar, I notice that on Election Day, 2008, I will be approximately three weeks shy of my 34th birthday. If I'm not mistaken, Article II of the Constitution stipulates that any individual seeking the office of the presidency must have attained the age of 35. If I'm going to have that much disrespect for the Constitution...well, I just can't abide that.
I hope you will join me in not supporting me for the 2008 Democratic nomination for president. Really - it's best for the nation.