This has GOT to stop
LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Florida (AP) -- An 81-year-old man was in critical condition Thursday after a stingray flopped onto his boat and stung him, leaving a foot-long barb in his chest in an accident similar to the one that killed "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin.
"It was a freak accident," said Lighthouse Point acting fire Chief David Donzella. "It's very odd that the thing jumped out of the water and stung him. We still can't believe it."
Fatal stingray attacks like the one that killed Irwin last month at the Great Barrier Reef are rare, marine experts say. Rays reflexively deploy a sharp spine in their tails when frightened, but the venom coating the barb usually causes just a painful sting for humans.
James Bertakis of Lighthouse Point was on the water with his granddaughter and a friend Wednesday when a stingray flopped onto the boat and stung Bertakis. The women steered the boat to shore and called 911. (Watch to see the speckled creature's face, stringy tail and what's happened to the victim-- 1:25)
Doctors were able to remove the barb during surgeries Wednesday and Thursday by eventually pulling it through his heart and closing the wound, said Dr. Eugene Costantini at Broward General Medical Center.
Ellen Pikitch, a professor of marine biology and fisheries at the University of Miami, who has been studying stingrays for decades, said they are generally docile.
"Something like this is really, really extraordinarily rare," she said. "Even when they are under duress, they don't usually attack."
This is so unusual"?? "freak accident"?? Oh, they don't usually attack? Well it's happened TWICE in as many months, and I for one, and sick of it.
What has happened here, my fellow Americans is that the stingrays have declared WAR on the American people. It was inevitable. All the signs were there. And yet, the democrats spearheaded by Al Gore, Greenpeace, ELF, PETA and the rest of their dangerously unhinged environmental cabal perservered in their appeasement of these dangerous beasts. And now, hundreds of thousands, perhaps even MILLIONS
of lives are now at risk. How many more must die??
Decisive action is needed and needed NOW. Despite what Nancy Pelosi,Barbara Streisand, Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, Kofi Annan, and George Soros would have you think, these creatures cannot be coddled. They cannot be reasoned with. They and their whole network must be destroyed and destroyed utterly. They look a lot like those creepy crawling thingies from those Sigourney Weaver movies that suck on your face,plant an egg and then have a little butt-ugly critter pop out your stomach! Is that we want? Do we want butt-ugly looking critters popping out of the stomachs of the American people? No, we do not. At least, sane, rational people do not.
I propose that the government establish a Department of Underwater Control and Aquamarine Wellness Oversight that will oversee the fight against the stingrays. Basically, our strategy will be such: we must find every stingray in the world and kill them. We must find their hiding places and destroy them utterly.
To achieve this, I see our only option is basically to launch a nuclear strike against all major bodies of water in the world today. That would include, but would not be limited to: The Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, the Gulf of Mexico, the Great Lakes, the Caspian Sea, The English Channel, and the Long Island Sound. This way we are assured of totally eradicating them from the face of the earth.
By destroying the stingrays, we will also make the oceans safer for other aquatic mammals. The vast majority of marine animals are peace-loving creatures. The benefits to them are vast. No longer will they live in fear of the stingrays and their tail-wagging savagery.
Now, I have advocated the use of nuclear weapons before here at Dkos, and the response from you all was somewhat disheartening to say the least. But I reiterate that I am not a rash, impetous individual. This is a common-sense approach with one objective in mind: The safeguarding of the American people.* After we destroy the stingrays, the oceans will be calm and peaceful once again. Our goals will not be achieved overnight, but it can come over time. I believe in the power of human liberty. I also believe in the sancticity of human life. And most of all, I believe in the power of nuclear weapons. Nuclear weapons WORK. Plain and simple.
So we have a choice this day: We can either remain frightend and live in fear of ever going into the water again, or we can FIGHT BACK.
I choose to fight. Free nations have a duty to defend our people by uniting against the violent. And the stingrays are violent. Very violent. So their violence must be met with our violence. And our violence will win.
Thank you, and God* Bless America.
*"American People" and "God" are registered trademarks of the Republican Party. Use by anyone who is not a Republican is prohibited and could result in your ass being sent to Germany and NOT for no damn Oktoberfest neither.