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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Bonus Cheers and Jeers! State of the Union edition!
CHEERS to Iraq war. Bush will paint a nice, shiny portrait of children throwing flowers and HBO in every home. Conspicuously absent: any mention of WMDs.
CHEERS to outerrrrr spaaaaaaaace! Classic distraction technique---oh, lookie up in the sky! Keep your eye on that for the next 10 months, and pay no attention to the 500 dead soldiers and all those American jobs in India. Remember, this is an administration of hope.
JEERS to Dick Cheney. Yup, we're gonna have to look at that snarly goon the whole time, his fat little fingers making a moist "splut splot" sound as he claps.
JEERS to coded gay bashing. "Healthy Marriage Initiative" will be on teleprompter. Only question is: how far will he go to placate his base? Anything less than constitutional amendment will be considered a betrayal by the rabid right.
CHEERS to divided applause. How often will Dems stay in their seats while Repugs go ballistic with wild-eyed joy?
CHEERS to special guest stars. Who will Bush point out in the balcony as a symbol of hope and/or freedom and/or progress? Jessica Lynch? Paul Bremer? Dennis Miller?
CHEERS to spending initiatives. Tonight we'll be promised the world in jobs, health care, Hummers, you name it. Spend, I say. Spend like the wind!! We'll be long dead before our great-great grandkids realize they're stuck with the bill.
CHEERS to the pomp and circumstance. The main act may be a lightweight extraordinaire, but sense of history is awe-inspiring. (Is that a gavel in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)
JEERS to 9/11 pandering. (Sigh)...you just know he's gonna go over the top with it.
JEERS to network coverage. (Sigh, again)...you just know they're going treat Bush like a cuddly widdle puppy. Yes they are! Yes they are! Good boy! Awww...scratchin' da belly? Yeahhhh... scratchin' da belly! Awww...kisses, kisses... Fox News continues...in a moment.
Feel free to add to the list...if you dare. Thank you very much!! God Bless America!!*
*Gays excluded in some areas---see Defense of Marriage Initiative for details.
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