Dear Diary,
I think Michelle likes me. I saw her and a friend talking and giggling and pointing at me. That's a good sign, right?
A scary man came to my town yesterday. His name is Reverend Fred Phelps. He is a walking, talking monument to hate, as well as to the argument for separation of church and state, but that will be in my next entry. Here is part of what my local paper had to say about it this morning. Read the full story at the bottom of the diary entry.
Students Muffle Hate Messages
Published in the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle
CHEYENNE - Upset by messages of hate displayed east of the Capitol by members of the Rev. Fred Phelps' anti-gay group Friday, several St. Mary's Elementary students countered with spontaneous messages of love.
Several members of Phelps' family joined other members of his Westboro Baptist Church congregation from Topeka, Kan., at the Capitol early Friday morning. They held signs with anti-gay, anti-American sayings in front of drivers during the morning commute to work.
Several dragged American flags along the ground and walked on them while singing vastly different versions of patriotic songs. "God Bless America" became "God Hates America."
Now, I am all for freedom of speech. When you see the full story below, you will see that the children learned a valuable lesson in their rights regarding free speech when they fought back with love. I think it is a beautiful American story. The only way it could have been better is if my friends and I had known he was coming. If we did, we would have thrown mayonaisse-filled condoms at the man. That isn't free speech... that's assault, and assault with mayonaisse-filled condoms is just plain funny.
See, it can be fun to hate. That's what makes hate such a dangerous, powerful emotion. Hate is probably one of the first emotions that the caveman ever had. He saw T-Rex eat his hairy wife, and he hated T-Rex, so he killed them all to extinction. That, of course, is a lie, but you get my point.
Hate is the animal reflex that is still left in us monkey-people. Have you ever seen those sad gorillas at the zoo? Look in their eyes sometime... I mean REALLY LOOK. You will see yourself, and it will scare you. The Brookfield Zoo outside of Chicago is the best place to see them, I think. I used to live next to that zoo. Do you know what those intelligent creatures would do if they could just reach you? They would pull your arms and legs off and beat you with them. This is the same instinct that drives Ann Coulter to write. The fact that she makes loads of money for buying her double-pronged vibrators is just the icing on the cake.
If someone had a video of the gorilla beating you to death with your own limbs he would sell it to the tv news and make a hundred bucks. He might buy beer. The tv station would show it and sell it to the other tv stations for a thousand dollars. They would buy a new microphone. Then the people who make gorilla-repellant would buy a commercial on that station for $10,000, and the guy at the station would buy a fancy coat for his wife and get a blow job. The gorilla-repellant company then sells $1,000,000 worth of gorilla-repellant to the masses, and then gives half of the money to George Bush, who then releases a bunch of gorillas into another country, thereby expanding the market reach of the gorilla-repellant manufacturers. George awards a hefty contract to the gorilla-repellant manufacturers to help the other country. They make $1,000,000,000 and give half of that to George.
The cycle never ends.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah.
So Rev. Hate (who you just KNOW likes to suck cock) is in my town railing against gays and blacks and, well... ANYBODY. For goodness sake, the guy is saying that we all deserved 9/11. That isn't nice at all.
Yes, I live in Wyoming. You probably think that I am a fag-killer, Diary, because I live in the EQUALITY STATE. The fact is that a lot of my friends are fags. I tell them that all the time. Then I punch them in the arm and twist their nipples. This is, of course, what fancy people call a "falsehood." The truth is, I am from Chicago, and there were all sorts of cool gay people there. I like gay people because my father hates me. That's what my psychotherapist says.
Anyway, I got lost again. Oh yeah...
So I don't have anything against gay people, and I really like lesbians. A lot. Some of the lesbians are kinda scary, but they are just people, and they just wanna lick bush. Make your own jokes, Diary, that one's too much of a groaner, and possibly a sophomoric aphorism. Anyway, lesbians are cool.
People in Wyoming are generally nice, and very open-minded. Did you know that Wyoming was the first state to allow women to vote? You think women in NYC are tough? Come to Wyoming. There are hot women here who don't even wear make-up. They are fit because they actually work for a living, and tan from the heat of the sun, and they wear denim and cowboy boots, and that is hot. They will kick a NYC woman's ass, and I would pay good money to watch that. But I digress.
The media made us out to be the Hate State. Matthew Shepard's killing was horrific and tragic and senseless. People say sometimes that he may have been too agressive to the guys that killed him. Guess what? I don't care if he grabbed the guy's cock and stroked it gently... you don't fucking kill a young man for that shit. That's just wrong. The two dolts that killed him were obviously repressed homosexuals. That is obvious. They liked dick as much as he did, but weren't men enogh to go ahead and come on out of the closet. Now they are in prison. That's funny. Think about it.
Anyway, we are not the state of hate. We love people and mind our own business. People here are cool, and I am a liberal from Chicago, so I would know.
This is the power of the media. That was a great, headline-selling tragedy, like I spoke of yesterday.
(http://www.dailykos.com/story/2003/10/17/23499/445)
But here's the thing. A few weeks before Matthew Shephard was killed, another tragedy happened here. A little girl, around 8 or 9, was playing outside when she disappeared. People looked and looked for the little girl. The national news didn't care, because it happens all the time, right? Well, a few days later, they found her in the county landfill. She had been abducted, raped and murdered. They caught a drifter who had been passing through, and he confessed. He just wanted to do this unspeakable thing, so he did it and moved on.
The national media didn't say a word. A week or two later, every network in the nation was here, because Matthew Shephard was dead. People started to argue about hate-crime legislation, and there were candle-light vigils. What about all the little girls and women who are raped and murdered each year... in every state?
Hate crime. I hesitate to bring it up here, Diary, but Hate Crime legislation is just about the most stupid thing I have ever heard of. The boys who killed Matt were terrible monsters, but so was the guy that raped and killed the little girl... dumping her in a landfill. Which crime is worse? Which crime deserves an act of legislation that makes that crime have a stiffer sentence that the judge would normally have handed down? The answer is obvious. NEITHER.
Taking a life, whether it is the rape and murder of a child, the beating and murder of a young man, the car-jacking and murder of an elderly man or the road rage murder of a Wall Street broker... they are all murders and will be dealt with as such. Let the judges and juries sort out the details and extenuating circumstances, but don't pass a law that says that the killing a man because he is gay, or black, is worse than killing a man because he looked at you funny. They are both senseless, and who the living fuck do we think we are to pass that judgement? Let god sort that stupid shit out, that's what she's there for.
Hate, as I said at the opening of this entry, Diary, is a powerful emotion that can be fun, especially for the weak. Hate makes weak people feel strong, even though it actually makes them less effective. That is why we have to be careful.
People love to hate.
Liberals will never have a successful entertainment media outlet because we are boring to listen to. We are only interesting when we let the wingnuts hang themselves with that rope they have in their back pocket. Listening to someone spout off about saving trees is boring. Listening to someone spout off about gay rights is boring. Unfortunately, listening to someone spout off about stupid tree-huggers and home-wrecking faggots is good old-fashioned American entertainment, and entertainment means money for the poop-peddlers.
If the Good Reverend Phelps was travelling around the country asking us to love each other, you and I wouldn't be talking about him, and he would fade into obscurity, where he belongs (with the fires of hell following shortly thereafter.) However, since he condones killing fags, we all know him and love him. (Check the schedule on his web site... http://www.godhatesfags.com... and be sure to throw a mayo-filled condom at him for me when you see him.) See how this works? This is America, folks. I am no socialist, but I will tell you... capitalism has it's drawbacks.
This is why Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly are so wealthy... because they are so good at hating. Al Franken and Michael Moore are geniuses, because they use the power of their target's hate against them. It like in Judo, where you use the mass of your opponent to take them down. What Al and Michael do is hold up a mirror and say "Say that again with a straight face." When Ann and Bill are out of their element, like for instance, on "Fresh Air with Terry Gross", they can say all the same things they always say, but they know that they are talking to people with brains, not mindless poop-flavored ice-cream eaters (haha) and they hang themselves with their own rope. Now THAT is entertainment. They hang themselves because Al and Michael and Terry don't hate them back, they just ask questions and listen. If you let your ideological opponent talk long enough, they will self-destruct. Like asault with the aforementioned mayo-condoms, that is just plain fun! It happens in the movies all the time, where the evil man's plans are foiled when he explains his plot away to the victim, not knowing that his tale of deception is being broadcast to an audience in the next room. Ha. That's funny when that happens!
Every time George gives a speech, America is in the next room listening... waiting to burst in with the cops and save Democracy at the last moment. We'll save her at the last moment, have a big hug, that big-ass kiss like Glen Ford and Rita Hayworth, but with lots of tongue, and we'll walk off stage as the screen fades to black.
I love you all. Let's love them to death in 2004.
Students Muffle Hate Messages
Published in the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle
CHEYENNE - Upset by messages of hate displayed east of the Capitol by members of the Rev. Fred Phelps' anti-gay group Friday, several St. Mary's Elementary students countered with spontaneous messages of love.
Several members of Phelps' family joined other members of his Westboro Baptist Church congregation from Topeka, Kan., at the Capitol early Friday morning. They held signs with anti-gay, anti-American sayings in front of drivers during the morning commute to work.
Several dragged American flags along the ground and walked on them while singing vastly different versions of patriotic songs. "God Bless America" became "God Hates America."
Meanwhile, several parents of students at West Elementary shepherded their children to the other side of the street while accompanying them to school. One mother skirted the anti-gay group and told her children to ignore them.
In response, Phelps' son, who held signs that read, "USA sin" and "Matthew Shepard, five years in hell," called out to her. "Susan Smith had more charity for her children. She drowned them," he said.
Other members of the group held signs saying, "God hates fags," "God blew up the shuttle" and "Thank God for Sept. 11."
Devon Anderson, art teacher at St. Mary's, said several of her students were upset about the display.
"They said, 'There's some posters out there with messages of hate,'" Anderson said. "I said, 'Let's make some posters of our own.'"
The children came up with their own slogans, which included, "God forgives you," "God loves all," "We love you," and "We'll pray for you."
"I think it's especially wrong to be doing this in front of a school -a Christian school, no less," Anderson said.
School librarian Sara Kakalecik was unaware that Phelps' group - though made up mainly of his family members - constitutes a church congregation.
"This is a church?" she asked with incredulity. "They're definitely not Christians. If they honestly believe that, they definitely need prayer."