PITTSBURGH -- U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum accused state Treasurer Bob Casey of "aiding and abetting terrorism and genocide," saying yesterday that state pension funds are invested with companies linked to terrorist-sponsoring states. [...]
"Bob Casey is aiding and abetting terrorism and genocide."
I haven't paid much attention to Rick Santorum lately. His fever dreams of a nation where man and canine are finally equal, free to love and be loved, a place where dogs have driver's licenses and cats run scared, was momentarily intriguing. His right-wing stances on pretty much any issue you can name, and his cowing to all those who believe Jesus, if he came again, would own a rifle range, join a militia, tell the rich people to buy Hummers, and be able to burp the Beatitudes at a Tom DeLay fundraiser -- tiring, typical Republican stuff, to be honest. His various ties to various other corrupt Republicans, and his emphatic denials -- yes, noted without enthusiasm. Trying to find a Republican not tied into rampant corruption, now there would be a story worth pursuing.
But I do believe it is important, after all the stories and all the demonstrations of why Rick Santorum is one of the most dunderheaded nitwits and biggest embarrassments to ever have been granted access to the Senate floor -- no small accomplishment, these days -- to nevertheless note one more essential fact about Rick Santorum.
Rick Santorum supports Hitler.
But we know better. He may have "only" been kissing a baby, but that baby was Hitler. He may "only" have been getting his car washed, but the soap was Hitlerian. He may "only" have been purchasing a fountain drink, but only Nazi supporters get the 32-ounce size when 44 ounces is a mere dime more.
Rick Santorum's links to genocide are indisputable. It may seem that Rick Santorum is too young to have really participated in Naziism: this is naive, and ignores the quite probable explanation that Santorum is a Nosferatu. Is it any wonder that the election season coincides, every year, with the dark and Satanic dealings of Halloween? I'd like to see Santorum deny the connection -- but only if he can refrain from skinning and eating kittens while he's doing it.
Here is only some of the evidence that points towards Rick Santorum (R-Hitler) supporting Hitler.
First off, you will often see Rick Santorum with an (R-Hitler) behind his name -- like in the sentence just above. And there, the sentence just before this one, it happened again -- coincidence?
Second, "Santorum" and "Hitler" have the same number of letters, if you take two letters away from "Santorum".
Santorum makes repeated references in his speeches to "Intelligent Design". What listeners don't know is that Rick "I Love Hitler" Santorum actually believes Adolph Hitler created the universe and is responsible for the variations among the species. Think about that, the next time you hear him speaking on the subject.
Santorum attempted to warn Hitler of the Normandy invasion. Don't believe me? In about two weeks, go to Google and type "Santorum attempted to warn Hitler of the Normandy invasion" into the search box. You'll get this page, thus proving it. Wikipedia, on the other hand, is slanted bullcrap, and will probably purge all mentions of Hitler from Santorum's biography.
During WW2, Rick "Hitler" Santorum (R-Hitler's Bitch) was personally responsible for the 37 percent of Nazi Germany's pig iron production. In fairness, he didn't mean to be: he just saw the name "pig" in there and thought he was signing up for something completely different and naughty.
|Rick Hitler (R-Hitler)|
I don't know why Rick "Hitler" Santorum (R-Hitler) loves Hitler so damn Hitlering much. I don't have a window into his Hitlerian head. But I do know a Hitler acolyte when I Hitlersee one, and Senator Hitler Hitler is pretty much as Hitler Hitler Hitler as you can Hitlering get.
Hitler. Hitler Hitler Hitler? Hitler, Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler. Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler: Hitler Hitler, Hitler Hitler.
In conclusion: Rick "Hitler" Santorum needs to recognize that it is important, during this campaign season, not to make scurrilous accusations about Americans supporting terrorism or supporting genocide. I don't care how badly your campaign has self-immolated, it's a bad idea to take that last step off into the deep end, reminding everyone ony last time of just how embarrassing and unhinged you've been, for the last few years. It makes you look foolish -- like a parody of yourself.
Unless, of course, the person in question really is tied to, oh say, Hitler, like Rick "Hitler" Santorum is. Then it's fair game -- knock yourself out.
So remember: Rick "Hitler Hitler" Santorum Hitler: (R-Hitler). Hitler Hitler Hitler, Hitler Hitler.
(But I do wish Rick "Hitler Hitler Hitler" Santorum would stop supporting Al Qaeda, Pol Pot, and Hitler. Honestly, Rick, there are other places to get your car washed.)