Scandalous, Corrupt Republicans (Or, The Unethical Majority): SCROTUM
Let's take a much closer look at the SCROTUM, shall we?
Mark Foley seduces teens online, as he ostensibly works in committee to protect those teens from, well, himself.
Denny Hastert and
Tom Reynolds cover it up for the good of the party and describe Foley's behavior as (warning: understatement forthcoming) "overly friendly."
Call me, Harold.
Ted Haggard boinks a male prostitute for three years and needs meth to screw his own wife, all the while denouncing homosexuality with all the fire and brimstone he can muster.
October ends as the 4th deadliest for US troops in the 44 months of war in/on Iraq. Course stayed.
Bob Ney pleads guilty in the Abramoff scandal and (belatedly) resigns. Go golfing, Bob. In Scotland. On your own dime.
Much ceremony is made over the signing of a bill to erect a 700-mile fence along the Mexican border, but the project remains unfunded.
Don Sherwood, a Pennsylvania congressman, beats up on his mistress and pays her lottery-like money to shut the hell up until after the election.
A Nevada congressman, now a candidate for Governor, assaults a woman after drinking with her in a bar. No word on whether Jim Gibbons is an alcoholic who took saunas with the clergy in his teens.
George Allen tosses a racial slur at a Webb campaigner - predictable for such a big fan of the KKK.
George Bush suspends Habeas Corpus with the signing of a Republican-authored "Military Commissions Act."
Republican TV ads cast Osama bin Laden in the lead role. Democrats cry foul because, ostensibly, bin Laden is a non-union actor who hasn't paid SAG dues in years.
John Sweeney knocks his wife around.
Conrad Burns flames the firefighters risking their lives in Montana.
Vern Buchanan evades taxes.
Abu Ghraib. Valerie Plame. NSA eavesdropping. Halliburton, again and again. Duke Cunningham. Jack Abramoff. No WMDs. Tom DeLay. Curt Weldon. Rick Renzi. Jon Porter. Richard Pombo. John Doolittle. Chris Shays. Phone jamming in New Hampshire. Gitmo. Secret prisons.
This is the SCROTUM, or at least a portion thereof.
If you feel the SCROTUM is too large, feel free to shave it down. If you feel I misrepresented portions of the SCROTUM, feel free to groom it appropriately. If you feel the SCROTUM is missing vital pieces, feel free to enlarge it.
And if the mood strikes, please share the SCROTUM with your friends in the final 48 hours before the election.
(Note: if you are a Republican, there's no need to get testi about this list)