Fox Yourself news reports that James Webb, the new Senator-elect from Virginia, is actually a Communist spy who will turn over the United States Senate to Comandante Daniel Ortega of Nicaragua, the leftover Sandinista who used to run the place and just won an election himself. Freedom will promptly be destroyed and anyone who is not a dirty Red will immediately be shot.
Fox Yourself notes the sinister connection of Ortega and Webb winning on nearly the same day, and poses this as conclusive logical proof as a conspiracy.
Asked for sources, FY news offered the name of an expert, Sean O'Rovecoultbaugh. O'Rovecoultbaugh was located 20 minutes later, wearing sunglasses and eating a bowl of Lucky Charms soused with bourbon and Viagra. On the approach of a photographer, O'Rovecoultbaugh fled; he seemed to be a heavyset bald man of advanced age, baring his teeth and carrying a shotgun in one hand. We will keep you informed on further details.
A reporter was able to ask the fleeing "Sean" one question: "Since Webb spent years as a Marine killing Commies in Vietnam, how likely is it that he'd be a dirty pinko himself?" "Sean" menacingly growled, "Go Fox yourself!" while waving a "Fox You" sticker, proving not only that he is rude but also that he is the preeminent right wing media whore of our times.