On Jan 1st, 2007, the Democrats will take ownership of the House and the Senate, and the question on everyone's lips is "will there be retribution?"
I say the answer is THERE MUST BE RETRIBUTION. Not strictly out of anger, but out of fairness. Not strictly out of pettiness and spite, but in order to punish the wrongdoers, and set an example for those to come. We cannot allow the Republicans to attempt to destroy democracy for 10 years without showing that with bad acts, come consequences. Since they're the (unlikely) party of law and order, I'm sure they'll understand.
While the bastards beg for the mercy of "bipartisanship," let's remember their tender mercies on the boot side of things:
Dear Republicans. Now that you've lost Congress, I understand how you wish that "the era of political sniping" is over. Too damn bad it isn't; here's a sorry sack for you.
Here's a bipartisan call for crime and punishment. You did the crime, we'll mete out the punishment, and when we're done, we can all come up with a way to stop you from ever doing again what you did:
Impeach a president for adultery
Nominate a group of people whose main political talent is bullying and belittling
Not Impeach a president for an illegal war
...or legalizing torture
...or killing people by the hundreds of thousands in the name of freedom
...or for not being able to speak english
Fondle the pages
Fumble legal and financial oversight
Finagle legal graft on K-Street
Claim your keyboards were vandalized! Will noone think of the children? Who... em, have to use those keyboards!
Ignore a mounting financial crisis with Asia
Make up non-mounting financial crisis with Social Security
Starve the rest of America so that you can drown it in a bathtub
Too busy saving blastocysts and vegetables to worry about New Orleans
Compromise the independence of the judiciary
...and the press
...and the congress
...and the independence of the executive branch
Make the executive branch a unitary finger to checks and balances.
Declare a mandate from the people
...if the people don't agree, dad's mandate is enough
...dad against you? Appeal to a higher father.
Ignore intelligence advice
Roll your own intelligence advice, and fire the other guys for getting everything wrong.
Leak secrets to destroy your enemies
Prosecute others for passing on those leaked secrets
Did we forget to say compromise and ignore science?
Pretend Global Warming doesn't exist, and "abrogate" treaties.
Make three mild enemies into an allied axis of enemies.
Let one or two go nuclear
Embroil the US in an illegal occupation
Say that you've never made any errors. Nope, can't think of a one.
Give out Presidential medals of freedom instead of pink slips
Give someone the finger
Tell a senator to "fuck off."
Put a Senator's picture in the Congressional urinal so that you may piss on him
Shoot someone in the face while drunk
Still can't think of any errors. I'll get back to you.
Attempt to steal the vote
Successfully steal the vote
Rally violently to prevent the counting of the vote
Make a system that automatically steals 3% of the vote
Prevent a system that would check the vote
Talk down those Defeatocrats, because they can't win a vote
Compare a paraplegic veteran to Osama Bin Laden
Declare Osama Bin Laden "dead to me"
Not see 9-11 coming with a big map and a George Tenet sized Flashlight.
Lie and mislead Americans into war
Kill 600,000 Iraqis
Kill 3000 members of the military
Accidentally bomb Press you don't agree with.
Accidentally bomb them until they get the accidental message.
Bomb some Canadians just for fun.
Suspend the bill of rights and the Geneva conventions for foreigners
... ok, for Americans on Foreign Soil
... ok, Foreigners on American soil
... people we really super duper promise are bad and need some torturin'
Arrest all protesters if 1% are violent.
Conversely, Guantanamo torturers are just a bunch of bad apples. Interpreting memos we sent them, potato, potahto.
Be the laziest, most corrupt, bunch of war profiteers e-v-e-r.
Make us much less safe
Take no responsibility, ever.
Fucking them until every last corrupt death merchant is in jail is justice, and I think they get 10 years of what they gave us for 10 years. After that, give us a call we're in the phone book. Under the Democratic party! Until then, have fun doing business out of the Congressional janitor's closet, distinguished bitches!