Oh how bracing, the chill winds of rank immorality! Oh how viciously they tear at the skin! And whether they blow continually or just once per year, they're always an astonishing surprise, are they not?
Ha! No, they're not.
This season's fetid, icy winds are ferrying a more pungent variety of soulful bankruptcy than usual, and the source of this stench is the Iraq Study Group. Now, do we know the ISG is comprised of fuckers of the lowest order, serving their emperor with sycophantic judiciousness, asking only that they be allowed to wipe the royal asshole with tender, loving care? Yes, we do ("we" indicates those possessing intellectual honesty; for the rest, there's the door, this has nothing to do with you, farewell, we hardly knew ye). But if you're on the fence and need proof of the ISG's moral sickness, I offer only this, which says everything about zero ethics/morality/soul/unblinkered honesty in America circa 2006:
"If the Iraqi government does not make substantial progress toward the achievement of milestones on national reconciliation, security, and governance, the United States should reduce its political, military, or economic support for the Iraqi government."
Nice. Who invaded who, again? As a writer in the Huffingtonpost put it, who's the arsonist and who's the arson-sufferer? Seems to me that Iraqis weren't exactly clamoring for an American invasion pre-2003, unless you count a real piece of Iraqi/human trash like Ahmed Chalabi, whose status as an Iranian agent is uncontested but pointless to bring up, since he's a true-blue whore of the lowest order and will blow whoever's fists are clutching the most cash at any given time. America had itself a good old-fashioned war of choice in 2003, and pointed the cannons right square at Iraq, a sovereign nation with tons of bark and less-than-zero bite. Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11; on top of that, it was being bombed by America and Britain for a good 10 years, bomb after bomb falling more regularly than...well, I'll spare you the toilet analogy, but it was damned regular, dementedly regular. The point is that Iraq fell under America's crosshairs and was summarily invaded in a boutiqe war that did not have to happen. Yet we have the fucking gall to say that we are gonna punish Iraq for our fucking boutique war! We're gonna cut off money to them; we're gonna make their lives hard (like we haven't already): we're gonna punish their asses. Holy shitfucking mother!
Breath is faltering, contemplating this. Heartbeats are dropping, getting irregular...
Hey, James Baker, consigliere #1 to hypercriminalis familia #1 - you know what? You're an ugly asshole. You too, Lee "we must not disagree oh no happy happy bipartisan oh yes that's how I like it oh mama" Hamilton - you're a fucking disgrace to this nation and the world. Fill your cups with piss, and drink to the dregs, and get in your fucking graves already. We proofreaders, janitors, Kossacks, auto mechanics, Democrats, liberals, etc., know just what to do, and here it is:
- Prosecute the people who started this war and keep it going
- Apologize to the world for having started it, and keeping it going
- Pull every last troop out of Iraq - or, the place we've singlehandedly ravaged
- Do everything we simply must do, as dictated by Christian/Islamic/Judaic/atheistic tenets of basic, regular, workaday morality to make Iraq a safe, life-sustaining place
There. Solved. Now let's go home.