Because we are contaminating the Open Thread, I thought an alternative venue would be good.
So with the approbation of His Highness BiPM, I offer this, an ersatz kiddie pool. I think anyone posting here should feel free to jump in later, when His Honorariness Himself posts the real thing.
This was what I wrote this morning, just to get us started...
Hello, good morning, and best wishes to the restayas: bobs, bobettes, bobitos, bobolios, bobaramas, bobarooskis, and everyone.
. . . .
But quiet.... Sssh! I detect a disturbance in the force... no DarkSyde Science Friday diary... no Cheers & Jeers.... No one in the office....
I find myself, strangely (that's what they call me, "Strangely"), writing into the void, anticipating, anticipating, anticipating... uncertain whether things will be as they have been before... whether gravity will continue to draw myself down into the chair.... wait.... Sshhh... I'm floating... up into the air.... I feel a strange attraction... drawing me toward the HIBs.... I feel myself growing in anticipation.... growing.... growing.... I am now a very large middle-aged man, floating above my computer....
. . . .
Okay, not really. I'm still sitting here (obviously, or I couldn't be typing this without doing some serious yogic/gymnastic contortion, which if I were to do, my back would simply pop out and go floating away), normal size (dang it), still trapped by the ineluctible grasp of gravity, still plodding away at the keyboard.
(I do wonder, though, if DarkSyde's tenure on the front page is over and I just haven't been paying attention?)
Nothing is different. Still mundane, ordinary; still I sit here, waiting to get my ass in gear and grade some of the 1,274 term papers sitting on my desk.
In fact, there are so many term papers that my desk has acquired a tilt. As everyone knows who has ever had to grade them, bad research papers weight 3.74 times as much as good term papers. So not only does my desk tilt, it sags.
This, I fear, is an omen: later today I will be cranky. Very, very cranky. It will appear to me that all my hard work this semester has gone for naught; that the students have raised their Anti-Learning Shields (tm) and thereby deflected what little bits of wisdom I managed to squeeze out of myself and fling, in the style of orang outans at the zoo, at their little pointy heads.
Feh. I try.
But I do not let it daunt me; yea, verily I say unto you, I am undaunted, not least because I do not know what it means to "daunt" something.
And even though things are the same, old, boring way they always are I can take heart; yea I say unto you I can rejoice, for today is different from all other days! Today is Friday! So cheers! to rum, cheers! to coke! Let's get that weekendification going!
So, my dears, let's see what's cheerful and jeerful in my little corner of cyberspace!
- First, cheers to my life. Yes, of course it has aspects that suck harder than a Miele, but dammit, it's the only life I have and I'm going to look on the bright side -- which very often is the underside, which brings me to "bottom," which makes me think, of course, of the HIBs.
- So cheers to my favorite non-relative human, eej. She is smart, concerned, caring, sensitive (ooh!), and carries the title "Dean of Fun" for no small reason. Good friends are rare, in my experience. (Of course that could have something to do with my personal hygeine, but let's not go there, okay?) She is a good friend. She brings me coffee sometimes, and she has helped a lot since my back went into All Pain All the Time mode. And, she's hot.
- Cheers to my students who made me proud yesterday. They made presentations of their research yesterday afternoon, and they did me proud. The dean, a former member of this department, came up to me yesterday and said that he was impressed -- and he would only say such a thing after a lot of alcohol if it were not true. So w00t! for my kids. Snif. They really did good. But holy shit am I glad that class is over.
- Cheers, also, for the students in my Research Methods class. After a semester of 5-days-a-week (and even though they're looking into the face of another semester of it), they are fun and worked hard and impressed me with their presentations, too. It's really fun to see a kid who essentially knew nothing about anything 4 and a half months ago get up in front of the class and be an expert at stuff. Very cool. I find myself looking forward to next semester. I also like to drive nails into my head -- but that's another story.
- F---ing jeers to one of my rats this morning, who will not stop squeaking. Dang. It's really bugging me. Could be I'm a little tired and testy from the long semester, but whatever: she's pissing me off, and if she doesn't tone it down, she's going to wind up as a mid-morning snack for a bored boa.
- Jeers to Jonah Goldberg and his ilk, who's pre-war and current blathering is no more relevant to the national discourse than the squeaking of my rats. And my rats are even cuter, and I would think, smarter: They never tried to justify Bush's war.
- But I hate to come here and jeer (even though "here" and "jeer" rhyme). So cheers, in a general way, for having two cute rats as officemates.
- Hopeful cheers for the recovery of Senator Johnson. Afflicted by a malady that strikes only a handful of people in a million, it's sad, and I hope that he won't go the way of Nate (Narm! -- remember?) on Six Feet Under. They have the same affliction, only Nate is an character who is not really afflicted by anything except melodrama. I really do hope the Senator recovers fully.
- But cheers to the fear that must currently be afflicting Joe Lieberman. If Senator Johnson has to retire and a republican is appointed in his place, then Holier-than-thou Joe will no longer be relevant. To anyone. Heh.
Okay, I should stop before I get yelled at. I will only add a resounding, heartfelt, undaunted (?) cheers! to you all. I really am an addict. I need you. If it weren't for you, I would -- gah! -- be working.
So cheers and happy Friday. This weekend take some time to reflect on all the good things that have happened to you. If you cannot recall any good things, let me know and I'll whip something up for you. Just sent your name, address, likes and dislikes, and bank account information to the email address in my profile.
And let us know what you're C & J ing about this morning!