It is no coincidence that Evan Bayh has announced today that he will not be a candidate for President for 2008.
It just so happens that on Wednesday of this past week, I published a full transcript of the first Democratic presidential candidate debate held on May 4, 2007 where Bayh fared poorly. (I was able to snare a transcript of the debate through the use of my new Time Traveler 2010®.) In fact, in the poll attached to the debate transcript, only 1% of respondents thought Bayh won the debate.
Here's the problem: By dropping out and not being available for an event that has already occurred in the future, Bayh has torn a hole in the time-space continuum and forever altered history.
How will all this play out? Read on...
Bayh's altering of the future is now likely to set off a chain reaction of events.
Here's what I believe will happen (though I may have to fire up my Time Traveler 2010® to get a clearer picture of the future. The machine's effectiveness may forever be altered by Bayh's action.)
- Joe Biden will now become the new version of "Joe Lieberman 2008," a title formerly held by Bayh.
- The Somnambulist Party, of which Bayh was considering using as a vehicle for a possible third party run (should he lose the Dem nod) on a ticket with Lieberman, is now available for Tom Vilsack, Mike Gravel or Bill Richardson to use should their Dem primary candidacies go down in flames.
- John Kerry will still be "yesterday's news."
- John Edwards now has sole control of the "kind-of-good-looking-younger-white-guy" title.
- Barack Obama looks "less black" in contrast to the field by dint of having the whitest-of-white-men drop out.
- Hillary Clinton goes after the big corporate bucks that backed Bayh and immediately becomes more Christian, going as far as kneeling and praying to "My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ" on stage before every debate.
There may be other ramfications as well, but until I avail myself of my Time Traveler 2010®, I will not know all the details of the impact of Bayh's withdrawal. However, given that I have to cook a batch of black bean chili and chicken with dumplings today in anticipation of tomorrow's annual "Holiday caroling and sing-along" bash at the Johnson household, I may not be able to time travel until Monday.
Thanks for reading. Have a nice weekend.
[NOTE: I have been paid a small fee by TimeTravelCorp., makers of the Time Traveler 2010®, for promotion of their time machine, available at The Sharper Image and other fine stores. Orders in by December 18 can still be delivered by December 24!]