The Diary Of Forty Fucks, In Which We All Pretend That Hunter Is Doing This As Performance Art, When He's Really Fucking Just Sick And Tired of an Unending Stream of Antisocial Losers Asking For Their Feet To Be Kissed And So He Has Now Completely Lost All Sense of Proportionality.
Oh for the love of crap, FINE. Please, for the love of God, someone just shoot me in the fucking head right now and get it over with.
Do I need to put this in some sort of "superfont" that even dumbshit morons can read? What the fuck, are these people sentient? Is there any possible combination of words on this planet that will have the desired effect?
IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE DAILY KOS SITE, PLEASE JUST FUCKING LEAVE.
You don't have to post wounded diaries about the fucking drama-queen trauma of it all. You don't have to have a "lets all spend a day making the goddamn afternoon all about me" day. You don't have to go to other sites, around the internet, and slap each other around with A Very Fucking Special Afterschool Special About The Day Someone At Some Other Fucking Internet Website Wronged You.
Get the flying butter-basted monkey hell OVER yourself.
This is easy. This is really, really easy:
1) If you don't like the focus of the site, FIND ONE YOU LIKE BETTER. Use your fucking computer mouse, take off your goddamn holier-than-thou sparkly Disney Princess costume, and just avail yourself of the approximately six point five fucking billion other webpages on the planet that might fulfill your sorry-ass life where this one could not. You don't sit around listening to music you fucking hate all day just to teach those goddamn recording studios a lesson, do you? No? No? Then why the fuck are you sitting around listening to political discussion you hate? Are you that fucking stupid, or are you really that determined, in your life, that every goddamn website, movie, musical genre, newspaper, coffeeshop, and all the dairy cows in Farmer Billy's field have to all be dedicated to revolving around you?
I am fucking sorry. I am sorry that, as big as your goddamn over-inflated head is, the rest of us still are not sucked into your fucking gravitational field to become moons around the Lost Planet of Goddamn You. Eventually, you will learn to live with the trauma, or the tectonic plates of your ego will finally shift enough to cut off the air supply to your nose, killing you.
2) If you don't like the fact that Markos or the other tens of thousands of users of this site aren't writing about something, Do It The Fuck Yourself You Lazy Goddamn Basement Clown. Don't join the cadre of Purity Fucks, interrupting the rest of the site on a daily basis for some Very Important Bulletin about how someone you've never met isn't posting things ripped directly from the recesses of your own gigantic and brilliant head: just get off your high horse and for the fucking love of crap, DO IT YOURSELF. Fill the threads with actual discussion about the issue, instead of goddamn bitching metadiscussions about how you wish we could have discussions of the issue. Do it, just haul off and do it, or for the love of badger crap Shut the Flying Hell Up Already.
Are you trying to fucking kill us all? Is that the idea, for you to be so goddamn stupid that the rest of us finally blow our fucking brains out, rather than have to listen to your goddamn whining for an hour longer? There are about fifty THOUSAND things in this world that nobody on this site or any other site have written about enough for you or according to your nuanced opinions, and none of us are going to get right the hell on that if you would only tell us to at great length and with an overall air of pissyness.
3) For the love of half-insane Napoleonic complex-having crap, PLEASE, for the sake of all that is holy and several things that are not, do not have a hissy fit and shit all over everyone else on the site because they clearly didn't understand that your stupid-ass indecipherable waste-of-time dairy that doesn't meet the diary guidelines and/or that nobody could stand to read past the first three sentences anyway is actually a brilliant masterwork of political thinking. Get. The Hell. Over. Yourself.
There are plenty of good diaries that nobody reads. There are plenty of bad diaries that nobody reads. And there are plenty of times when your diary just plain sucks gorilla ass, and you need to take a fucking breath mint if you're gonna start preaching to us about it afterwards.
4) If you don't like the way the layout, technology or whatever of the site works and it's really so fucking mortifying enough to make you want to leave, Just Fucking Leave. For the love of crap, PLEASE leave. You're a dumbass for not figuring how it worked sooner. Nobody is going to reprogram how the fucking site works just because you can't play according to the same rules as everyone else. We especially aren't going to all rally around going to all the work of changing it if you are a fucking asswipe of the highest order, because we don't want people like you the fuck around here anyway, because your pompous-ass prima donna routine makes our eyes bleed.
What the hell do you need, do you need your fellow posters to all cram sorry-for-your-loss cards in your mailbox? Do we need to start chain letters to try and build up enough fucking karma in this world for weak-kneed YOU to get the courage to close a goddamn computer window? How "about you" does this all need to be, before you finally get the fucking hell on with your life?
5) If you can't be nice to other posters -- and by "nice", I mean if you can't have the basic decency to not crap all over other people's threads while trying to hork out your own opinion, no matter how unabashedly Hawkingesque the brilliance of your opinion may be, LEAVE. NOW. If you start saying somethings to someone that would get you thrown out of a bar, you can bet your ass it's going to get you thrown out of here to, at least for a comment or too. Absorb the mighty terrifying impact of this lesson, and realize that maybe when fifty people think you're an asswipe, it is probably because all available scientific evidence has indicated that you are, indeed, an asswipe.
If you are posting while Drunk or while Deeply Stupid, you will get what's coming to you. And when you bitch about it for days on end afterwards, we will all laugh our asses off that anyone with your amazing lack of basic social skills managed to make it as far as you did, and you are perfectly welcome to sit in your goddamn closet and cry about how mean everyone is to you after you shit all over their diaries and threads and they didn't anoint your fucking feet for it.
This simply makes me want to cave my own fucking head in under the wheels of my tractor, but for the love of crap, this stuff gets explained time and time again, and still -- still -- it is obvious that the people who need to hear it are the people who will never, ever, EVER get it.
Be nice to people here, they're nice to you. Be mean, they're mean. That goes double for people who have been here a while, and double for people who haven't been here very long, and double for every other person I didn't mention in the first two groups.
It's called "basic fucking social skills". You learned them back in kindergarden; hearken back, then, to the time when Miss So-And-So was telling you to not eat paste and not hit people, and start applying those life lessons now. Yes, even on the Internets. If you insist on eating paste, it will clog the Tubes, and make the site run slower.
Look, if you come here to be nothing but a constant jerk, we don't have to be nice to you. We don't have to pity you. You don't get to shit all over everybody around you, and then be all wounded when people respond in kind. You're not fucking twelve anymore, you really ought to be able to handle interactions with other adults without needing the constant goddamn handholding of people with better things to do. I, personally, have LOTS of things I could be doing rather than handholding a seemingly unending stream of people who think they're God's gift to the political discourse but can't manage to string two sentences together without getting pissy and calling everyone else Jim Jones, Jack Abramoff, or Hitler. For example, I could watch an apple roll down a flight of stairs. I could dust the bookcases. I could examine my own fingernails. All of these things would be more important and worthwhile than listening to your sorry-ass bitching at me and everyone else here.
Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourself.
We're not that into you. We have no intention of altering the fabric of spacetime so that every fucking thread is about You. I could go for a thousand years, and never once again want to earnestly hear about how so-and-so is fucking being oppressed because we told them to take their Dem-hating ass, their you-all-can-go-to-hell ass, or their shitheaded-dumbass-beyond-the-bounds-of-anything-you'd-see-in-Space-Alien-Kitchen-Design-Monthly-the
ory ass to some website that would spend the requisite number of daily manhours polishing their enormous fucking waterford-crystal-encased egos.
This site is not about you. It is about us, together. If you think the central you is more important than the global us, then please, for the love of holy fucking crap, open up a new browser window and FINALLY, for the love of crap, go the hell somewhere else. We don't need you. The Democrats don't need you. Liberalism doesn't need you. The Greens don't need you. The Libertarians don't need you. Israel doesn't need you. The Palestinians don't need you. Nobody out there is being helped by the fact that you are an anti-social prima donna with the social skills of a six-foot-tall projectile-vomiting possum. On the contrary, you hurt every cause you touch. Nobody wants you; nobody wants to listen to you; nobody will give a shit if they are hereby denied your Very Important And Pissy Wisdom.
Get.
The Flying Fucking Horsefucking Fuck
Over
Yourself
You Goddamn
Anti-science
Anti-liberal
Anti-Democratic
Perenially obnoxious
Holier-than-thou
Self-worshipping
Drooling
Social Reject
From
Goddamn
Fucking
Hell.
This has been a public service message on the part of every damn one of us who is sick of users who come in here, piss all over the furniture, and then get ticked off that we don't kiss their asses for it. Leave, damn it. Get your coat, get your hat, get your ass out the door, and let the rest of us talk about issues that don't involve having to look at the insides of your fascinatingly emboogered nose during every single even mild disagreement. The rest of us are beyond tired of it.