By Peter Fredson
December 19, 2006
We speak of the slave-type labor performed for Neocon corporations in Latin America or China, but has anyone thought of the slave-type labor performed by Santa’s Elves?
This is the time of year when we should ask such questions for humanitarian reasons. Evidently they work 18 hours a day, all year. Do they get any vacations? Paid? Sick Leave? Pensions? Health Care? Do they have any ombudsman, lawyers? Where can they go to adjust grievances?
Those poor elves must have many complaints but no one ever talks about them.
What would an elf complain about?
Must we listen to Christmas Carols all year long?
We’re tired of making Barbie Dolls, can’t we make some Paris Hilton action dolls?
Besides the Head Elf, we never get any promotions.
Listening to those damned chimes makes our ears hurt.
We hear Santa is going to outsource our jobs to Mexicans.
Santa never lets us have any eggnog.
Those damned reindeer keep pissing on our floor.
Who gets all the cookies and milk? Not us!
Did anyone hear any other complaints?