Howdy-do, libs. Manley here, primed to stuff Moral Clarity all up in your business.
I've manblogged about this previously, but I feel compelled to bring this story - plus some new wallpaper that really drives the point home - to a wider audience.
There are many reasons to be suspicious of history. First of all, it's one of the liberal arts. There's probably a bunch of other reasons, too. However, on occasion it is necessary to shine the flashlight of righteousness onto the crotch of historical injustice. Just such a case presents itself unto us in the form of the Oregon boundary dispute of the 1840s.
At that time, a big chunk of western North America called Oregon Country was being settles by mighty American frontiersmen. They possessed gallons of honor and were very rugged. Sadly for them, Oregon Country was also being claimed by Canada, which was owned by Britain at the time. These people, being both Canadian AND British, are now known by scholars as "The Gayest People Ever". Think Elton John meets Kids In The Hall, only with 19th-century pubic wigs.
I manned you all a map showing the location of this land today.
Though the Americans and the Brit-Cans alike believed this land to be theirs, the Americans were right. They knew this because they believed in something called Manfest Destiny. This was the belief that it was our destiny to turn the entire continent into a Christian masculine paradise. In other words, a man-fest.
America's President at the time was James K. Polk. In his winning run for President in 1844, Polk's campaign ads featured the ragtime song 54-40 Or Fight (warning: kinda loud). This phrase evidently had something to do with Canada sucking. The exact meaning has been lost to the sugary winds of Father Time.
When Polk won, people thought he'd stand firm and claim the entire Oregon territory. But after being elected, he compromised and gave away half the Oregon Territory to Britain! Of course, could anyone else have expected anything else, really? After all, James K. Polk was a Democrat with a pre-9/11 mindset. Additionally, archaeology has revealed that he was, and I quote, "queer as a Prussian blacksmith".
I thought it would only be appropriate for me to simultaneously address my love of CHRISTmas and my all-consuming disdain for James Gay Polk via the art of wallpaper-making. Those of you who are man enough, in body and/or spirit, are welcome to come get the full-size versions on my blog. Pass this wallpaper on to loved ones as a Christmas card.
You're welcome.