As a secular atheist Jew, I've never celebrated Christmas (although I am this year because my Mother-in-Law is visiting and I don't want to be a spoilsport), but hey, everyone else gives presents and goodwill and all, but I don't really like Christmas.
It's not only the commercialism, which I find annoying, or the religious aspect which I was born a complete outsider to and see it as vaguely oppressive as it dominates the entire month of December. No, what really bothers me about it is that it reminds me of the Tom Lehrer song, "National Brotherhood Week." which ends with-
But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
It's National Everyone-Smile-At-
One-Another-hood Week
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you
It's only for a week, so have no fear
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!
That applies to Christmas too. The implication to me seems to be, 'it's okay to be a complete dickhead the rest of the year, but there's this one day where you're not supposed to.' and I find that irritating. I also don't need a reason to give someone I care for a present, but that's just me. Also, if you are a Christian, surely every day is a celebration of Jesus, so why have a special one above that? "Yeah, we always worship Jesus, but today we really worship him." As I said, not a Christian, but that doesn't make much sense to me.
Anyway, I like the general festive atmosphere apart from that, so I suggest that we instead celebrate the birth of notorious gay writer and raconteur, Quentin Crisp, author of the terrific The Naked Civil Servant, who was born on December 25th in 1908.
Not only is Quentin Crisp an all-around cool and witty guy, but also, he was gay and an atheist so that's sure to piss off the right-wing fundies!
From Wikipedia:
Born Denis Charles Pratt in Sutton, Surrey, the fourth child of accountant, Charles Pratt (1871 – 1931) and former governess Frances Pratt (née Phillips)(1873 – 1960), he changed his name to Quentin Crisp in his twenties after leaving home and cultivating his outlandishly effeminate appearance to a standard that both shocked contemporary Londoners and provoked homophobic attacks.
By his own account, Crisp was effeminate in behaviour from an early age and found himself the object of teasing at Kingswood Preparatory School in Epsom, from where he won a scholarship to Denstone College, near Uttoxeter in 1922. Whilst in the sixth form, Crisp served in and eventually commanded a squad in the Officer's Cadet Force. After leaving school in 1926, Crisp studied journalism at King's College London but failed to graduate in 1928, going on to take art classes at Regent Street Polytechnic.
...
Crisp attempted to join the army at the outbreak of the Second World War, but was rejected and declared exempt by the medical board on the grounds that he was 'suffering from sexual perversion'. He remained in London during the 1941 Blitz, stocked up on cosmetics, purchased five pounds of Henna and paraded through the blackout, picking up GIs, whose kindness and open-mindedness inspired his love of all things American.
In 1940 he moved into the bed-sitting room he would occupy for the next forty years, the first floor apartment at 129 Beaufort Street, London. Here he stayed until he emigrated to the United States in 1981. In the intervening years he never attempted any housework, saying famously in his memoir that the dirt didn't get any worse after the first four years.
Now I think that's much cooler than a bunch of guys with camels in a barn worshipping a baby.
As I said, Crisp was an extremely witty man. Some of my favorite quotes-
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
Life was a funny thing that occured on the way to the grave.
and my absolute favorite-
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
YouTube also has a short clip of Crisp in his later years- http://youtube.com/...
Quentin unfortunately died in 1999, but then Jesus has been dead for 2000 years and he's still celebrated so I think that's okay too.
Anyway, like I said, from now on I'm celebrating Crispmas.
And for those who don't care for Crisp, comedic ranter and frequent Letterman guest, Brother Theodore, was also born on the 25th. In his late 80s, Brother Theodore once said, "the only thing that keeps me alive is my fear of dying young."
Merry Crispmas to all...