Yep, it's me, George Bush. I thought I would stop by and see how you were doing. This is my first diary on dKos.
I know that some of you have been wondering why you aren't getting more support from the federal government. Well, I want to tell you that we're doing all we can. True, we don't have much in the way of money, what with Iraq and the tax cuts, but think of it this way. Do you really want to take handouts? I know, that once you get back on your feet, through hard work and connections in high places, you will someday be filthy rich, and then you will be pushing for tax cuts.
See...people accuse me of not thinking in terms of the future, but I really am. Try to look beyond the next 10 years of abject poverty and homelessness...to the future, when you will be rich. You will look back on this hard time, and thank me for lowering your tax rate.
You're welcome.
In the meantime, you have to be patient. See, we really are stretched for money these days. Those tax cuts weren't cheap.
Which brings me to some good news. We have to cut funding for food stamps and other social programs to pay for...well, the stuff I mentioned earlier. I know it's tough these days to put food on your family, but it really is for your own good. We're calling the cuts in food stamps "The War on Obesity". Sure your little Tyler may miss a few meals, but be honest, he could stand to lose a few.
In the meantime, remember to vote republican in '06. We're the only party who is looking out to protect you from terrorists. And those gay guys down the street who want to get married.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
Preznit