Or just another late night whiny metathread. We report you decide.
My favorite traitor or the turning of the tide.
It was a good Christmas, but you can't let things go to your head. It didn't take all that long for the world's biggest superpower to react. Our collection of dead-enders slipped away to Morristown, a region known for it's caves and tunnels.
But let's put on our red coats for a moment, I'd like to introduce you to some very well bred aristocrats. First we had Gage and then we had Howe. Third base. Gage retired after the Siege of Boston (put away your tinfoil hats, I'm serious).
Now Howe is an interesting guy because he was well connected. Kinda the way Michael and me run our meatspace club. This wise Guy got sent north with his own independent kind of thing happening. I'm not quite sure why that is such a big deal because he did a great job. Kicked ass at Quebec, booted Benedict out of Montreal, and spanked him all the way to Ticonderoga. On the other hand he didn't go for the throat. Still, when campaign time came he'd send off Gentleman Johnny with a full retinue and all he needed for the plan.
Oh yeah, there was a plan man.
You see, the core of the insurgency was in the 'Triangle of Death'© that is Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire (sorry mainiacs and green mountain boys, not yet). If you could just cut off the 'Triangle of Death'© there'd just be a few pockets of rabble to clean up before concentrating on those pesky blue guys.
Now history (which is written by some very peculiar people) suggests that this was Johnny's idea, which may explain what happens next. Guy loaded him up and said, "Have a nice trip, see you in the fall." Dowe, Cheatem, and Howe found something that was bright and shiny and distracting and kind of forgot what they were supposed to do.
And at that I'm hard put to see why they sat on their thumbs until July, but the 'pace of offensive operations' was much more leisurely in those days. He did send a letter on January 20th (this source definitely has a point of view, to me the relevant part starts 'Howe was in New York'). I'm sure if Ben Franklin had still been at work it would have gotten there much sooner.
But I digress. This site has a nice animated graphic and this one has the story in a nutshell. Howe sailed to chase the rabble and he did just that. From the Head of the Elk, to Brandywine, to an Escape in the Clouds, to Mad Anthony Wayne's last stand. The Rabble left Philadelphia for Lancaster and York (prizes for those that identify the white rose) 2 days before, but it wasn't the first time they'd let discretion be the better part of, well... Baltimore is a great town too, they have the Orioles and the Ravens, and I'm sure someone will point out that Patrick Henry rode with the militia at least as recently as year before last.
So Howe marched into Philadelphia, our capital, on September 26th, 1777 and set up for a delightful winter. Our tall guy, the one with the bad teeth got spanked a couple more times at Germantown and Mercer and Mifflin, and set up camp in Valley Forge.
Oh, and Dowe, here's Howe he spent the summer-
British General Henry Clinton, left in command at New York, did indeed sail up the Hudson in October, capturing several forts and burning Kingston (then the rebel capital of New York), but his efforts were not enough to affect the events at Saratoga. op. cit.. |
Now let us visit another cold miserable place- Ticonderoga. Don't forget, last winter was spent slogging through swamps in Maine, getting killed a little, freezing outside town for a while, and then running away as fast as you could. Oh, and you were stop lossed. My favorite traitor didn't spend the winter. Busy, busy, busy. So flashback earlier to a non-British occupied Philadelphia and he got the treatment he deserved. Oh, did we mention the leg injury and the death of his first wife?
I want to talk about 2 idiots, Schuyler and Gates. Who says great men don't make history? America has no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
So Ben took 2 months off and then mounted his <new> horse, shoved a stick up his butt and rode to the sound of the guns (look for the graph that begins 'While the Indians were fighting the militia at Oriskany').
Major General Bendict Arnold was heading towards the fort to help the Americans. Arnold led 1,000 Continentals and militia -- although it was rumored that this number was closer to 3,500. Upon hearing the rumored numbers under Arnold, the Tories and remaining Indians began to panic. On August 23rd, St. Leger broke camp and retreated back towards Oswego. |
So we arrive at Freeman's Farm. I want to mention Daniel Morgan, he never played fair. Him and his Pennsylvania Riflemen always shooting from behind rocks and trees and all. And at Officers too, he had no respect for his betters.
Tadeusz Kosciuszko deserves a link. Don't go telling no polish jokes around me. How depressed was the dane? You had to dig him out by the ears with a crowbar (1/4 dane and I never look at cartoons, they're frivolous).
The Big Wind Up
But why is he your favorite traitor?
Bemis Heights.
Gates was a dope. Arnold saved the day. Burgoyne surrendered and was led away. Did I mention that limp?
What you need to understand is this-
Ben burned with fire. His soul was on flame. Get men to die for him? Been there, done that.
A real warrior knows only battle. Strife is life.
Both true, but pride is believing that yours is harder than any one else's. Ask that other Ben, you know, the Alpha Mail who was whooping it up in gay Paree. After France how are you going to keep them down on the farm?
We will discuss West Point, but it falls in the general category of more bad news. My favorite traitor, the guy who would sell you a piece of wood and call it nutmeg, would not be remembered as Quisling had he died that day on Bemis Heights.
Good luck? What a funny concept.
Notes-
First off an apology, writing it took longer than I thought. He is my favorite traitor. I think you should compare and contrast him with a miserable failure who is still a miserable failure en español.
And the title has migrated a mite from the original in Revolution (part one). If you're as lazy as I am you'll want linky links to the rest of it so here they are-
Oh, and here's your link to William Demont so you can understand the poll. |