In these dark, dark days, when ‘Murrica is under assault from all sides, we should be truly thankful that we are blessed with the grandmotherly kindness of one party rule. With God’s Own Party in charge of all three branches of government, we are finally making progress towards fixing the most pressing problem that plagues our great nation:
All them durn brown people who won’t speak English!
WASHINGTON (AP)—Whether English is America’s “national language” or its national “common and unifying language” was a question dominating the Senate immigration debate.
Granted, the Objectively Pro-Terrorist America Hating Fifth Column Liberals might
try and distract us with
smokescreens such as
a $400 billion deficit, $3 a gallon gas, two ongoing unwon wars, bin Laden still on the loose, a record $725 billion trade deficit, a military strained to the breaking point, and any number of federal agencies rendered so disfunctional they have to be either rebuilt from the ground up or disbanded altogether
But luckily for us, the GOP rejects such diversionary fripperies to concentrate on the real problem.
Huzzah! Now this is what we call decisive action. However, we’re not entirely sure it goes far enough. We harbor the sneaking fear that some nogoodniks might use English As Official Language to discriminate against those who find the confines of proper grammar and syntax too restrictive and confining to contain the magnificent eloquence of their vision. People such as Dear Leader, for instance.
Therefore, in honor of Dear Leader and all he and his Party have done for our country, we propose a further law making Bush-bonics the Official Language of ‘Murrica. Glory!