The Republican Party is the party of "fuck". The Democratic Party should become the party of "shit".
Now hear me out...
"Fuck", in its hostile sense, is what the GOP is all about. George W. Bush, March 2002:
"Fuck Saddam; we're taking him out." Dick Cheney:
"Go fuck yourself." Karl Rove:
"We will fuck him like he's never been fucked before." As George Carlin said, it's a word that "we really use to hurt each other with, man. It's a heavy. It's one that you have toward the end of the argument." That last is telling; once you've escalated to "fuck", you're not really negotiating any more. In a common compound form, it's a threat to an enemy in war that underpins the homophobia so common to the right: "fuck you", meaning "
I will fuck you", meaning "I will fight you and win and you will be helpless and then I will fuck you to make sure you know how badly you've been defeated." And today, that's basically all the Republican Party stands for: winning at any cost, humiliating and terrorizing the loser. They sure as fuck don't stand for Christian values or fiscal moderation. Hence Abu Ghraib. The central message of the Republican Party: "Get with the program or get fucked." Needless to say, there is no lube in sight.
Now let us turn our attention to John Kerry. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Kerry said "Did I expect George Bush to fuck [Iraq] up as badly as he did? I don't think anybody did." The Bush White House had the nerve to ask for an apology from Senator Kerry. Given the above citations, it would be hard to believe that the President was shocked by Kerry's "fuck"; this was more like a cease-and-desist letter protecting a trademark. "We're the Party of Fuck, Senator, and don't forget it. Don't fuck with us. We'll fuck you like you've never been fucked." The GOP has staked out that territory. The left won't be allowed the use of it.
But there's another perfectly good Anglo-Saxon monosyllable available. And that's "shit". And I think the left needs to embrace the word "shit", starting now.
"Shit" isn't hostile in the way that "fuck" is. Shit is an inevitable fact of life. Recognizing the existence of shit is important - just the ability to recognize shit is important, but some people don't know shit from Shinola. Proper disposal of shit is invaluable. (If the Bush Administration were tasked with maintaining a sewage treatment plant, they would start by denying the existence of shit.) Everyone shits. Not everyone fucks.
We need to start using the word "shit" when it's called for. As in "Mister McClellan, this press briefing is bullshit; can we get some real answers?" As in "our soldiers in Iraq are in the middle of some pretty serious shit." As in "full of shit." As in "cut the shit." Because I'm tired of this shit. America is in deep shit, and we need to get our shit together. Mister President, it's time to shit or get off the pot.
(This posting made possible by the fine work of George Carlin.)