Cross-posted on ConyersBlog
1) In the days after Pearl Harbor, Bush would have secretly flown hundreds of Japanese out of the U.S. because Hirohito asked him to.
2) To demonstrate America's resolve to prevail over the vicious enemies of freedom, Bush would have told us all to go shopping.
3) Bush would have trotted Condi Rice out to explain that "no one could have foreseen using airplanes to drop bombs on ships."
4) Bush would have hired German and Japanese companies to handle our port security.
5) Bush would have said, "Frankly, I'm not all that concerned about Adolf Hitler, I really don't think about him very much."
6) Bush would have called the Bataan Death March a catastrophic success, and told MacArthur, "You're doing a heckuva job, Dougie."
7) Bush would have fired General Eisenhower if Ike had asked for more than 130,000 troops.
8) Bush would have told the Nazi SS executioners in the Holocaust death camps to "Bring it on!"
9) Bush would have destroyed an American OSS network working to prevent the Nazis from getting the atomic bomb in order to "get the facts out" about Argentina's fiendish plot to import gunpowder from Niger.
10) Bush would have landed on an aircraft carrier in February 1942, announced the end of major U.S. combat operations, and declared "Mission Accomplished."
11) Bush would have prosecuted the New York Times for reporting that the FBI was keeping an eye on Nazi spies.
12) Bush would have fought the Battle of the Atlantic by sending the National Guard out in rowboats to sink Nazi U-boats with World War One army surplus grenades.
13) On D-Day, Bush would have kept our troops back in England and hired French drug smugglers to invade Normandy.
14) Bush would have captured a German clerk in Paraguay and announced that he'd crippled the Whermacht's operational capacity.
15) Bush would have berated Ernie Pyle for giving aid and comfort to the enemy by reporting that GI's actually got killed sometimes.
16) To get reelected in 1944, Bush would have unleashed the Polio Veterans for Truth against FDR, who had ambitiously injected himself with polio so he could run for president someday.
17) Bush would have condemned the media for not reporting enough good news about Auschwitz.
18) Bush would have invited Stalin to Crawford, looked into his eyes, and assured us, "we can trust this man, I've seen into his soul."
19) Bush would have cancelled the Manhattan Project and given Al Capone a no-bid contract to develop America's atomic bomb.
20) Bush would have had to invade Japan (see #19) which wouldn't have gone well because our 130,000 troops would still have been sitting in England waiting for the French drug smugglers still pinned down on Omaha Beach to capture Hitler for us. Unleashing Elvis on Japan would not have been an option either, because he was only ten years old, so Bush would have been fresh out of war plans.
Bush's defeat in World War II would have been all Woodrow Wilson's fault, of course, because that damn leftist America hater cut and ran in 1918 and did nothing while Hitler and Hirohito met in Prague to plot America's destruction.
(Keep pissing Republicans off every day, We do)