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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Wow. Lots of interesting stuff going on this week. Consumer confidence down. Wall Street down. Abuse of Lincoln Bedroom up. Gas prices up. Pollution emissions up. Trade imbalance wider. Smells like Springtime in Bushland. [Ssssssssniff! Ahhh...]
Poll results from yesterday. Interesting. When it comes to self-inflicted death by fast food, most people want to go with duck sauce on their lips: Chinese/Japanese takeout was #1 at 37%. Taco Bell was a distant second. In case you missed yesterday's column, here 'tis: http://www.common-sense-mainer.dailykos.com/story/2004/3/9/231819/5226
Today's pork-fried edition of C&J (and a new poll) starts in the extended copy section...RIGHTNOW!
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, March 10, 2004
CHEERS to Donkey backbone. As seen on Kos homepage, Democrats plan on using Tom Delay as poster child for the rabid leadership of the Republican party. The secret plan of attack is in here: http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/2000/2096.html
JEERS to White House slumber parties. Flip-flopping on yet another 2000 campaign promise, Bush flings open Lincoln bedroom doors to big-bucks contributors (sorry..."personal friends"). Will media pounce on this like they did Clinton? Is the Pope out ridin' the open road with his legs strapped around a Harley?
CHEERS to Kerry's sweep. Another four states down and now it's on to...aw, who cares? Here's my 50 bucks. Now go beat Bush.
JEERS to the myth of abstinence. 88% of teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage end up steaming up the Hundai windows before walking down the aisle anyway. NIH-funded study also shows STD rate is the same as openly promiscuous peers. That sonic boom you heard this morning was the religious right's bubble bursting.
JEERS to Bill O'Reilly's blood pressure. New progressive radio network---Air America---debuts March 31 with Al Franken as lead personality. Name of his show (oh, pinch me): "The O'Franken Factor." Can you have too much fun?
CHEERS to Log Cabin Republicans. New ad by gay group---fueled by $1 million budget and starring Dick Cheney---masterfully turns tables on need for marriage amendment. View it here and feel all warm inside: http://www.logcabin.org/logcabin/index.html
JEERS to practical jokers. Scientists claim Hubble satellite reveals new images from "Dark Ages of the Universe." Press fails to notice it's just a Polaroid of the oval office.
CHEERS to miracle pills. New drug melts away the pounds and eliminates your urge to smoke. Fine, fine, whatever, knock yerself out. Now...tell me again how it cures the Mary-Joo-Wanna Munchies?
JEERS to pessimistic poopyheads. Consumer confidence hits 4-month low because people feel bad about money. The U.S. Mint to the rescue: http://www.michiganstatequarter.com/mold-255.html. I feel better already!
CHEERS to Kos alumnus Steve Gilliard. He's back home after life-threatening hospital stint and eager to start spittin' verbal bullets at the Repugs again. Put on a tie (or a blouse) and go say hi: http://stevegilliard.blogspot.com/
CHEERS to mercifully short trends. Sting cranking his hurdy-gurdy (example here: http://www.hurdygurdy.farmcom.net/) at the Oscars prompted a wave of inquiries from folk music wannabees, says Newsweek. Then they got a load of the average $3,500 price tag and decided to stick with the harmonica.
So...what are you cheering and jeering about today?