Right on the heels of
Good Night and Good Bye, George Cloomey's journalistic biopic with a moral backbone that tells the story of crack reporter and ethical barometer, Edgar Burrows, Allen Gore and his army of "green" berets blows into town like the hot air of an F2 hurricane with his biopic of none other than the greatest historical female character every actress in Hollywood is just dying, literally, to play: Mother Nature, in those margarine commercials from several years back.
An Incontinent Truth asks the question: What happens when the residents of a planet pump fossil fuel gases into the atmosphere until they start to affect the climate of that same planet?
Answer: Mother Nature "pees in her pantsuit", and "the sea" rises 20 feet above its current level. Again.
But hang on to your self-catheterization system, "Mom", because I think your "urine" has just reached a critical desalinization point, and the bipolar icecaps are melting at the rate of 1 millimeter per year, give or take, we think.
But don't squeeze into those pair of DependsTM Undergarments just yet, folks, because I myself liked this movie better back in 1995 when it was called Watery Worlds, and even more so back in 2004 when it was called The Day Before Yesterday. Fun for the whole family, indeed.
The movie's premise - that we're all fucked beyond belief because we drive giant SUVs to soccer practice, drive-thru fast food restaurants, drive-thru dry cleaners, drive-thru yoga classes, drive-thru manicures, drive-thru dental appointments, drive-thru car washes, drive-thru pharmacies, drive-thru divorce courts, and take private jets to movies about why it's not good for the environment to take private jets in the first place - is a tough one, one we've been grappling with ever since Propeciathis let ancient man in on a little secret and fired up the old... fire.
There's no shortage of tree hugging here, folks. Especially during the hurricane footage with all the halfwit reporters being blown around like that plastic bag in America's Beauty (starring Kennan Spacek, and Mimi Safari's boobs).
The footage of regions in America being covered up in water is eerie, and eerily satisfying for Gore, particularly when Florida goes under. But put down the crowbars and baseball bats, folks, because looting The Gap doesn't start till Thursday at the latest, and there's still no time for a recount.
This "What if" movie to end all "What if" movies leaves "the politics" on the edit suite "floor" and tells it like it is, for some people. And then gets a few facts sort of wrong. Add the fact that I just dropped 2 "pudding bars" in my shorts and no one is the wiser, and you've got yourself one hell of an allegorical sub-narrative, the movie's "feces statement" that I think we as Americans can all agree on.
Bottom line, end of story, après le deluge, folks: We don't want sci-fi movies like An Incontinent Truth. We need sci-fi movies like An Incontinent Truth, if for no other reason than when it comes to achieving human technological progress on Planet Earth, if you're gonna make an omelette, you're gonna break a few levees.