I wondered what was gonna happen to ol' Rick. To old to be put out to pasture, to young not to hope people forget about his antics in twenty years. So where, oh where, to put him. Or at least until the rapture.
So Rick got a posh deal, landing on his feet, over at Ethics and Public Policy Center, a Washington-based think tank.
I know! Funny right? Santorum building policy around ethics! But the irony gets more delish:
Rick’s Return
Life after the Senate for Santorum.
By John J. Miller
http://article.nationalreview.com/...
Yet he hopes to remain in the public spotlight as director of the EPPC’s brand-new America’s Enemies program.
"It’s a stark name," says Santorum. "But we wanted to be candid about the fact that America really does have enemies and to point out that the nature of these enemies is much more complex than what people realize. It’s not just Islamic fascism, but also Venezuela, North Korea, and, increasingly in my opinion, Russia."
I am not sure what he is returning from, since he was just unemployed technically last week. I bet most other Americans would love to get a new job so quickly, with the economy and all. But I laughed myself stupid when trolling around my rss feeds I saw: Santorum to lead America's Enemies.
But at least, it is some policy group that will just spit out group think to tow the line for whatever President Bush wants, which is fine. It beats him actually leading Christian fascist in a coup of our democracy, which I gathered from the original headline I saw.
I am glad to see Rick has finally realized it is not all about Islamic fascism, though I believe fundamentalism would be the key word here. Being a fundamentalist himself, I guess he shyed away from using that term. Also happy to see he will be trotting out the evil doers in Venezuela and Russia soon on Fox News, on his one way ticket to punditville.
I wasn't aware he was a foreign policy expert, I thought he was just about screwing over democracy on the domestic level. Now all the world can rejoice soon in the frothy knowledge of Santorum, where he will lube up world peace with his own special mix of knowledge and experience. Don't worrry world, he promises to be gentle.
"Maybe that wasn’t the smartest political strategy, spending the last few months running purely on national security," he says. "I was even more hawkish than the president." In October, Santorum was delivering what became known as his "Gathering Storm" speech — a reference to how Winston Churchill described Europe in the 1930s.
Really, you think? Basing your whole campaign on being more hawkish than a very unpopular President because he was for an even more unpopular war? That was a mistake? I remember your "Gathering Storm", but the results envisioned between you and I were completely different. You saw yourself, in all your hubris and pride, as the next great savior of the West. I saw you helping hand the November elections to the Democrats in a gift basket. Complete with ribbons.
Also great to know you will take this keen, almost esoteric level, of political strategy into a think tank with you so you can influence the current administration. I mean, if it got you sent off packing to obscurity, surely your fellows over at the EPPC will take whatever you say with a grain of salt? Right? I mean, come Rick, you were so wrong being so Right. Right?
This is a very impressive group of folks who share my worldview more than any other group in town," says Santorum. "We’re going to have a lot of synergy. I know that I’m not the foremost scholar in the world, but I can offer a lot of ideas and help put together a communications strategy to describe the threats we face. Communication is a big problem, as the results of the elections in November show."
Then again, maybe not. But you did prove you are no scholar, as synergy requires to independent groups meshing attributes for a common goal, not a standalone tank. And as for communications there buddy, it is a two way street. I agree communication was a big problem for you last election cycle, but you still do not get it. If you really want to communicate, you have to listen, instead of just preaching from the bull pulpit.
But then again, keep on keeping on Rick, because your style of communication is perfect for the future I envision for you. A world where everyone finally forgets who you are, and that how the substance of Santorum got it's name is a trivia question:
What is the first name of the obscure former Pennsylvania Senator for whom Santorum was named after?
Now that would be a beautiful world.