From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Taking a page from the Republican playbook, C&J crafts an ad in the wake of Friday's vote, in which House Democrats chose to support our troops with critical funding, while all but two Republicans voted to snub them. I’d like to thank my co-writer, George W. Bush, for helping fine tune the message. His contributions are in bold:
OMINOUS ANNOUNCER WITH DEEP, RASPY VOICE: Republican Congressman [name here] voted against a bill to provide our troops with vital funding. This funding is badly needed for delivering of vital resources for our troops, like armor, food and other critical supplies that help them fight the war on terror and protect our children. But Republican Congressman [name here] voted to shut off funding for our troops. Our men and women in uniform need these emergency war funds. The Secretary of Defense has warned that our men and women in uniform will face significant disruptions, and so would their families.
Republicans in the House, like Congressman [name here], have sent their message, now it's time to send their money. Our men in women in uniform should not have to worry that politicians in Washington will deny them the funds and the flexibility they need to win.
Shame on you, Republican Congressman [name here]. Our troops deserve better than this.
This ad paid for by Bill in Portland Maine PAC. (Watch, some stupid troll will go Google it.)
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Update: Astute C&J readers have pointed out the phrase "men in women in uniform." That comes from the White House transcript. Those little horndogs...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Note: Senator Leahy says your subpoena is in the mail. It's 500 pages and weighs six pounds. What the hell did you do???
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til "Play Ball!": 5
Days 'til tax day: 19
Percent of Americans who want us out of Iraq by August, 2008: 59%
Percent who don't: 33%
(Source: Pew research)
Estimated percent of U.S. household spending controlled or influenced by kids under 14: 47%
(Source: Harper's Index)
Number of eggs in a dozen: 97
(Source: Heritage Foundation)
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Your Puppy Pic of the Day: "Mmmmmm...creamed corn residue..."
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CHEERS to striking it rich. It all started out several years ago when Karl Rove got a brilliant idea:
To: White House personnel
From: krove
RE: brilliant idea
From now on, guys, use your RNC email address instead of your White House address for correspondence. In the event Dems take back Congress (Ha!!!), they'll never think to look there.
Clever, huh?
As Josh Marshall says, too clever by half. Meaning the entire TIME-LIFE Collection of Bush administration scum and villainy may have just fallen into Henry Waxman's lap. Ha!!!
CHEERS to our local boy. Heeding the wishes of an overwhelming number of Mainers, Congressman Tom Allen voted "Yupper!" on the military funding supplemental, which sets a deadline for our withdrawal. Says the Rep who will likely take on Susan Collins in '08:
"We have charted a path to bring our troops out of the crossfire of the Iraqi civil war and safely home. And we have committed the funds needed to protect our service men and women while they are in Iraq and provide them the health care and other services they deserve when they return to their families."
He added, "Other than that it was just another day at the office."
JEERS to "Things That Go Boom" for $400, Alex. The General Accountability Office (Motto: "You did what??!!") makes it official: we're much, much better than Iran when it comes to arming the insurgents in Iraq who want to kill us:
The U.S. military's faulty war plans and insufficient troops in Iraq left thousands and possibly millions of tons of conventional munitions unsecured or in the hands of insurgent groups after the 2003 invasion---allowing widespread looting of weapons and explosives used to make roadside bombs that cause the bulk of U.S. casualties, according to a government report released yesterday.
Some weapons sites remained vulnerable as recently as October 2006...[and] the unguarded sites "will likely continue to support terrorist attacks throughout the region."
The Pentagon responded swiftly with a new leaflet drop: "Insurgents! Please place your weapons in the nearest mailbox. Return postage is guaranteed. Thank you and have an Allah day!"
JEERS to the wrong war on the wrong drugs. A major report in the British Journal Lancet evaluates controlled substances based on "the physical harm to the user, the drug's potential for addiction, and the impact on society of drug use." Their not-so-shocking conclusion: Alcohol comes in 5th place, tobacco is 9th...and marijuana is virtually at the bottom. Only quibble: I wish the report hadn’t been written by a Nutt.
CHEERS to deserters. Remember when President Bush joked that he would stick by his decisions even if Laura and Barney were the only ones supporting him? Robert Novak says that reality has caught up with him:
In half a century, I have not seen a president so isolated from his own party in Congress---not Jimmy Carter, not even Richard Nixon as he faced impeachment.
Republicans in Congress do not trust their president to protect them. [...]
The I-word (incompetence) is...used by Republicans in describing the Bush administration generally. Several of them I talked to cited a trifecta of incompetence: the Walter Reed hospital scandal, the FBI's misuse of the USA Patriot Act and the U.S. attorneys firing fiasco. "We always have claimed that we were the party of better management," one House leader told me. "How can we claim that anymore?"
There there, li'l fella. In 21 months you won’t have to.
CHEERS to a pleasant little gathering. Elton John ("a man who used to make Liberace look Amish," says Robin Williams) celebrated his 60th birthday Sunday. It was a quiet affair...just him, Bernie Taupin, former president Clinton, Whoopie Goldberg, Williams, and 20,000 people sharing a booth at Madison Square Garden. There was a brief moment of panic when Keith Richards jumped out of the cake and was mistaken for the Grim Reaper. (Thank God for portable defibrillators.)
JEERS to perky hit jobs. Shorter Katie Couric on 60 Minutes Sunday: "Now that your cancer has returned, Elizabeth, isn’t it only proper that you become a miserable recluse for the sake of your children?" She's a pro, she is.
JEERS to Lawrence "My Conscience Is Very" Small. The head of the Smithsonian Institution has resigned amid charges of wrongdoing. He kept wearing George Washington's choppers to cocktail parties.
CHEERS to the Big Thaw. The end of March in Maine means the end of snow season. Yesterday we officially put our shovels and barrels of ice-melting pellets in storage and broke out our thongs. Also yesterday, the neighbors officially began lowering their blinds.
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One Year Ago in C&J: March 27, 2006...
CHEERS to the sanctity of the First Amendment. The FEC says that bloggers can continue business as usual without interference, thus allowing us to continue to kick lying, knuckledragging Republican wingnuts in the pants. Good thing...I hear DailyKos withdrawal symptoms are wicked painful.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to posing for posterity. The official U.S. Senate web site says that former vice president Dan "The Anti-spellchecker" Quayle is getting a bust of him sculpted. I think it's a spitting image, don’t you? (And for total accuracy, there's nothing inside it but air.)
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Floor's open. What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless Testimonial:
"You cannot claim to be a well-informed citizen and only look at Cheers and Jeers. But, I don't think you can be a well-informed citizen anymore and not look at Cheers and Jeers.
---Dan Rather
3/16/07
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