I read Jonathan Alter's column today in Newsweek (on line) and also saw him twice on MSNBC. He spoke out about the so called issue of Elizabeth Edward's decision about how to deal with the recurrence of her cancer.
I am not an expert on Mr. Alter, and I honestly don't know how stands on some of the issues near and dear to my heart (education, health care, the war). But I do like what he sad about Elizabeth and cancer and even Katie.
More on the other side of the fold!
If you have not read his piece in Newsweek, here's the link
Don't Judge the Edwards Family
I did not know that Mr. Alter had battled cancer himself. That, of course, gives him a credibility that most of us would prefer not to have on this issue. What he said was simple, and to the point and perhaps summed up in the Native Amercian words; I pray that I may not judge a man, until I have walked a mile in his moccasins.
And yet, from Limbaugh to some idiot on Larry King last night, to some blogs (supposedly neither progressive or liberal), too many folks, in my opinion, were happily judging and/or condemning the Edwards. When I called posters on it, a few told me that real Americans, unlike "liberals" would quit work and care for their wives; a few snarked that they doubted she had cancer but this was a ploy; and of course a few insisted John Edwards should be "the man, the adult" and tell Elizabeth she had no choice. I get angry and debate much here and elsewhere but few posts nauseated me the way those things have.
I imagine many of us have dealt with our own health issues, and many have dealt with life threatening disease in our families. Most reasonable people understand that there is no one way to deal, just like there is no one way to grieve.
After my only sibling, a sister, died suddenly in 2003, I was devastated. She died of an aortic aneurysm that dissected (not unlike John Ritter). What made it worse was that our mother had died of that at about the same age as my sister was. In the midst of shock and grieving, I had to figure out what to do. For years, after my mother's sudden death, I could barely say the word aneurysm. I imagine many people have felt the same way about the word cancer. Finally I had to face it, get checked and find out that I too had the same aortic root aneurysm (but it actually came from my father's side, not my mothers, which is a diary in itself but not for here). Living with that aneurysm for two years impacted and changed me profoundly. In 2005 I had it repaired via open heart surgery, knowing that there were risks that could impact the rest of my life either positively or negatively. I chose to go with surgery, and fortunately was surrounded by loved ones who I knew would be there for me regardless of the outcome.
My best friend died of cancer at age 45. I was with her either by phone or at her house daily for her last year as she and her husband battled the disease emotionally and physically. After my sister's death, I wondered as I walked daily (while still contemplating my own decisions) which is better....knowing like my best friend did and getting to do stuff (they traveled and did things as long as she was able); or not knowing like my sister and just being gone one day. In the end, what I learned (for me) was this: live one day at time, enjoy, engage and do stuff (whether it is working, painting, blogging or debating).
In my humble, yet unexperienced with cancer of my own, opinion, Elizabeth's choice is not only good for her health, it is good for her children. What better lesson in love is there than to live each day to its fullest. Having lost her son suddenly, as I have my sister and mother, I think she understands this: even without cancer, there are no guarantees!
As I have said before in other comments, I am an Edwards supporter (as he is my #1 choice), but I also can and will support Barack or Hillary or whomever gets to represent the Democratic Party in the '08 election. I applaud the fact that many here have spoken up about the Edwards right to make decisions about their life dealing with cancer without being condemned for it. I also applaud how all of our candidates have reached out with class to the Edwards, as well as to the Snows. (I do not like Tony's pov on anything, despise that he worked for FOX and still cannot wrap my brain around a seemingly bright man not only believing in the BS of this administration, but representing it....however NONE OF THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIS CANCER ISSUE). I know all of this has been discussed from the political pov. But I still felt there was more to be said.....so
Back to Jonathan Alter. He was articulate, emotionally secure, and well versed on this issue. I am glad MSNBC gave him some airtime. I hope more people read his article and respond. THANK YOU JONATHAN.
It is not our abilities that define us; it is our choices that show who we truly are....Dumbledorf to Harry Potter J. K. Rowling