UPDATE; For those that understood the diary: I did find a seder to attend. For those that thought I was shitting them, that's your problem.
Tonight is the first night of Passover. I will be not be celebrating. I have no where to celebrate, for even after 15 years, I am still a "stranger in a strange land". I do not have the money to pay to celebrate at a shul. Who knew, that when we were admonished in the Haggaddah to open the door for the stranger, that the stranger with money was meant in this:
This is the bread of affliction, which our parents ate in Egypt.
Let all who hunger come and eat.
Let all who need come and celebrate the Passover.
Now we are here; next year may we be in Israel.
Now we are slaves; next year may we be free.
Is merely words. Walk up to an open door tonight, and say: "I am hungry." and see what will happen. I'm in NYC, where celebration shall take place behind the comfort and safety of the concierge and the locked front door.
I am alone in NYC. I do not have upwards of $175 to share a Seder meal with others. I lost my job two weeks ago. and I don't start my new one till thursday. tonight, I will be having a "fregan" seder. All the chametz I can eat. yep I will be trolling the trash for my Passover meal. My seder will begin when one particular sandwich place closes. I will endure the stares of poeple wondering "why is that well dressed person going through the trash" Because I just don't have the money for food. What?? No Food stamps you say? yes, it's hard finding the welfare office here in Manhattan. It's really well hidden and not convenient to get to. and,then, you need to be there well before they open so you don't sit the entire day.
Let all who hunger come and eat.
Let all who need come and celebrate the Passover.
Passover is about embracing the stranger and sharing with the stranger the ideal that is Freedom. The concept that to be liberated, one must be prepared at a moments notice to change direction. From slave to freeman in a matter of hours. That everyone has a place at the Table of LIberation.
Yeah, right. I am still in Mizrahim.
UPDATE To those of you with friends and family. How lucky you are. For those of use who are poor, and without friends - see all my 'friends' did a vanishing act 8 years ago after I was assualted in my home. guess they just couldn't deal with my broken nose black eyes and brain injury. or, maybe thye couldn't handle MY need for a support net.My family is in California, and, well, how fortunate you are to not be alone. Although it does seem to have made you hard hearted towards the "lesser".
"Let all who hunger come and eat." It's just words. You'd think I was asking for money.