Alternate Title: Don't shit where you eat.
I began dating my boss almost three years ago. It was an extremely uncomfortable situation, to say the least. It started at an after-hours party with a few of our co-workers. She and I had a few too many drinks, one thing led to another, and we went back to her place for some "harmless" fun. I remember waking up at 5:00am the next morning and rushing out of her house so that I could go home, shower, change and get to work. I didn't realize how bad my hangover was until I got to my desk. I suppose the adrenaline rush one gets from sleeping with his/her boss is enough the counter the effects of a night of excessive drinking.
My boss arrived at work shortly after me. I knew when she arrived, not because I saw her, but because I got a meeting invitation from her. The subject of the meeting was "Status". I shuttered when I saw it, and knew I had made a huge mistake. I wanted to decline the meeting invitation, but decided to accept it, partly because she was my boss, but also because I really liked her and didn't want to give her the cold shoulder.
Everything went well at the meeting. We discussed the prior night and decided to not make a big deal out of it. However, we agreed that no one else at work could know about it. We had to pretend like nothing happened. That was the most difficult part, but we managed. There were a few more "incidents" over the subsequent weeks where we got together after work. I also met her two children from a previous marriage, which posed a problem when she brought the older one into the office. We had to pretend that we didn't know each other well.
We continued to date, and began to realize that one of us had to change jobs, especially considering that my annual performance evaluation was a month away. We joked that she could include information about my sexual performance.
HairyTrueMan exceeded expectations in productivity, but needs to work on his delivery. In the next calendar year, he should focus more time on the smaller tasks, and become more familiar with the subject matter.
And I won't even tell you the jokes my family and friends made about the relationship. Let's just say that the jokes were about me getting a raise. Luckily for both of us, she got a new position in the company and we did not have to live a secret life anymore. We are still together, and I now live with her and her two sons.
And now for the point of this diary....
We knew that we were doing something wrong. We knew that even the appearance of favortism, would cause problems at work. We knew that the relationship couldn't last unless one of us switch jobs. We knew that she couldn't give me a $60K raise without raising a few eyebrows, and the ire of the entire department. So why on earth did Paul Wolfowitz think he could get away with it?
Wolfowitz laid out terms for partner’s pay package
Paul Wolfowitz personally directed the World Bank’s head of human resources to offer Shaha Riza, a bank official with whom he was romantically involved, a large pay rise and a promotion as part of an external secondment package, according to two sources who saw a memorandum written by the bank president.
[snip]
The memorandum sets out the salary that Ms Riza is to be paid, the arrangements for her promotion, and the basis on which her subsequent annual pay increases are to be calculated.
And here is Wolfowitz's cliche apology:
The transfer and a subsequent raise eventually took her to a pay of $193,590 from $132,660, tax-free because of her status as a diplomat, and exceeding the salaries of cabinet members. "In hindsight, I wish I had trusted my original instincts and kept myself out of the negotiations," Mr. Wolfowitz said.
"I made a mistake, for which I am sorry," he added, pleading for "some understanding" of the "painful personal dilemma" he faced when he left the Pentagon to become bank president. Mr. Wolfowitz said he had been seeking to avoid a conflict of interest by having Ms. Riza, with whom he had a personal relationship, transferred from his supervision.
He also added this doozy:
For those people who disagree with the things that they associate with me in my previous job, I’m not in my previous job," he said.
Although his performance as Undersecretary of Defense was horrible, it doesn't matter here. What matters is that he did something that was wrong. He spoke about hindsight, but I don't buy it. I think we can agree that nepotism is wrong. If my girlfriend had given me a large raise and/or promotion because of our relationship, it would have been wrong. And it is especially wrong when it comes to dispensing our national treasure. We Americans paid for the exorbitant salary of his girlfiend, and now all he can say is that it was a mistake in hindsight. If he didn't know better, he should not be in charge of the World Bank.
Smell you later Wolfie.