My parter's son has serious emotional problems. He is nine years old, and has no sense of self control. My girlfriend has taken him to therapy for several years now, with minimal success. "Billy" is a smart kid. He learns quickly, and remebers things very cleary. But his emotional and mental problems make things difficult for him. Imaging being unable to be alone for more than a minute. Imagine getting uncontrollably agry at something silly, such as not being able to play the drums without any training or practice. Imagine that everyone thinks you're annoying. That is Billy's world.
I love my girlfriend's son Billy. He is a great kid with a warm heart. When I come home from work, he greets me at the door with a great big hug. But he is difficult to deal with. A typical day with him is the equivelant of someone poking you softly for hours at a time. It is a mild nuisance at first, but it gets irritating after a while. That is what it's like to be around Billy.
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Billy has been diagnosed with everything form ADHD to bi-polar disorder. Those who know him realize that he has a problem. Others make comments like:
Too many kids are medicated for bad behavior.
and:
In my day, kids like Billy got spanked.
I worry about my partner's son. Billy's problems are serious, and have me concerned about his future. The VA Tech killer puts a knot in my stomach because Billy is not too different from the him. He is unable to control his anger. He is an "outcast". He might seem "disturbed" by people who do not understand his condition. Hearing about the killings at VA Tech, I worry about Billy.
Billy is on Ridalin, Abilify abd Trazadone. He needs these drugs to deal wth his problems. It is a delicate balance. He takes Abilify to deal with his bi-polar disoder. He takes Ridalin to handle his hyperactivity. He takeds Trazadone to come down from the stimulants he takes during the day. We are constantly controlling Billy's chemical balance.
The worst feeling I got when watching the coverage of the VA Tech killer is that the killer is like Billy. He was an outcast, someone who everyone knew had a problem. Someone who was unwilling and uncapable of accepting the help of others. A lost soul.
I pray that Billy does not become this person. I hope that he learns to control his anger. I can't imagine what it is like to be responsilble for a child who kills. I can't imagine what it's like to have a murderer in the family.
I will do everthing in my power to ensure that Billy knows he is loved. I want to make sure that Billy is not the next mass murderer.