Washington
Fresh from his performance at CNN’s Democratic presidential primary debate, and criticism from liberal activists over his support of a consumption tax to replace the national income tax, Mike Gravel unveiled his new tax policy today. The plan abandons the idea of a national sales tax, while still accomplishing Gravel’s stated goal of eliminating the IRS and current tax code. Instead of his earlier plan of a consumption tax, the new plan proposing collecting taxes from individuals by implementing a system of tax farming. "Tax farming was good enough for the Romans, and by God it’s good enough for us!" said an apparently agitated Gravel in a voice several decibels too loud.
Tax farming was a Roman practice in which the burden of tax collection was removed from the Roman State to private individuals or groups. In essence, these individuals or groups paid the taxes for a certain area and for a certain period of time, and then attempted to cover their outlay by collecting money or saleable goods from the people within that area. It fell out of favor in the Roman Empire when more centralized methods of tax collection became feasible. However, the practice saw later use in the Ottoman Empire, as well as some parts of Eastern Europe and Russia.
While tax farming has been criticized by historians as horribly regressive and ripe with corruption, Gravel believes these problems will no occure in the United States, and that the invisible hand of the market will insure tax farmers conduct their business in an ethical manner. Under Gravel’s plan, tax farmers would both be responsible for collection of tax revenues, as well of setting tax rates. They would be paid on commission.
"By outsourcing the collection of taxes to the private sector we will eliminate billions of dollars of costly bureaucracy, as well as a complex tax code that no one understands, least of all me." Gravel then proceeded to stare at this reporter for an uncomfortably long period of time, before turning around, marching over to the edge of a nearby pond, picking up a large rock, and throwing it into the water.
Vigil Ripper, a member of the Minutemen vigilante group which patrols the US-Mexican border, expressed support for Gravel’s plan. "I support any tax plan that will take power away from Washington bureaucracy and put it in the hands of regular people" said Ripper. "And I fully intend on purchasing a tax farming license as soon as they become available." Though Ripper admits profit is a partial motivator for becoming a tax farmer, he insists patriotism is his primary motivation. "As a tax farmer, I can take part in the protection of the revenue that supports important government projects, like building a wall along the border." Further, he says, tax farming will serve will tie into his Minutemen activates. "I figure anyone who doesn’t want to pay taxes is probably an illegal, and this is a good way to expose them" says Ripper.
Gravel’s plan also received high praise from the CATO Institute, a libertarian think tank. Susan Chamberlin, Vice President for Government Affairs for the Institute expresses support for the idea. "It’s good to see the presidential candidate of a mainstream political party embrace a policy that promotes rugged individualism and faith in the inherent decency of the free market."
Congressmen Dennis Hastert, a long time advocate of switching to a consumption tax also expressed his support for a tax farming policy.
However, not everyone is as supportive. Rita Wilson, a professor of public policy at Wisconsin University expresses skepticism. "Tax farming is historically one of the most regressive systems of collecting taxes ever practiced. Gravel’s first idea was [to switch to a consumption tax] was regressive and delusional, and somehow his new policy actually tops the old one on both counts.
However, when pressed on the charges his new policy is regressive, Gravel brushes them off. "It has progressive in it’s name, so it has to be progressive, what are you people, idiots? You all scare me!" said an agitated Gravel before a handler ended the interview, muttering something about needing to get the candidate to the VA to pick up a refill of his medication.