That's right, not goodbye, but hello there, cruel world.
I've been a member here for quite some time, but I've never written a diary before, and may never write one again; probably because after this one, people will beg me to go back into lurkdom. But I just had to say hello there, and thank you.
I won't bore you with all the details, but I've not been feeling like myself for the past few months. I'm feeling more bitter, more angry, more sad. There are a lot of reasons: politics and the state of the world, personal unhappiness, maybe even reasons that don't make sense. But all I know is, I feel like I don't belong most of the time. Except when I come here.
I mostly comment in cheers and jeers. I usually don't feel confident in commenting elsewhere. But when I do comment anywhere, I feel accepted. People here "get" each other. There is no need to explain, just show up and chat, and you'll find your place.
I have my own blog, but even there I can't say everything I want to say. I don't want my family or friends to read it; don't want them to be upset with me or even know everything I'm feeling. They would know this was me if they saw my handle, but I don't think any of them come here. And if they do, now they know.
Anyway, I was just thinking about this a lot today, after another personal disappointment (maybe due to my own paranoia). But I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here. Your diaries and comments make me think, make me laugh, make me cry, keep me informed, and make me feel like I belong somewhere.
Hello there, cruel world.
www.currentdirt.com