When I say that I drive, I mean – I attempt to share the road with SUV drivers, who, by and large, suck. The bigger the SUV, the more they demonstrate that they can't friggin' drive with the rest of us.
Sorry if you're one of them, just stop reading now, 'cause I'm about to piss you off, and I need to vent this stuff.
SUV owner vehicle choices suck up more fuel per mile than average. So many of them are on the road, not off the road as they are capable, but on the road with one person inside, behind the wheel. How can it not be considered selfish by these drivers to consume fuel at twice the rate of average to commute daily all alone?
Driving behind an SUV is a challenge because the rest of us cannot see around the damn thing. I, for one, am not the least bit amused when the Ford-o-Saurus in front of me inexplicably slows down to a crawl to ‘navigate’ itself over railroad tracks. That’s right folks, the big, bad, high axle, all terrain, powerful vehicle in front of me is driven by another asshole that feels it necessary to crawl over a few bumps. Watch out for that bump in the road, it is absolutely necessary for SUV drivers to protect their investment from leaf spring flex. This is the same railroad track that I have no problem passing over at lunchtime (when the SUV's are at the mall) at 20 mph, except there's some selfish, arrogant a-hole somewhere in front of me slowing us all down during commute time.
If high fuel use and exasperating driving habits were all there were to my rant, I wouldn’t have much to complain about. Then, there’s the parking lot. Yup, true to form, the "truck" that some idiot bought because they have extra money to literally burn, is the same inconsiderate asshole that doesn’t bother to park Queen Mary within the lines. That would entail backing up and doing it right the second or third try. I can imagine the thought process: "I could fit in this spot, but ... Nah... screw someone else, I drive an SUV and deserve two spots".
With all this, I can still respect your right to drive whatever you want, and can afford. Not everyone feels as green as I do, not everyone feels environmentally responsible, and not everyone feels safe in a small, fuel efficient vehicle like mine. It’s cool, I’m not a republican, and therefore feel no need to force others to agree with me. However, if one more selfish bastard noses up next to me in a gigantosaurus thereby blocking my view of oncoming traffic and follows me forward as I inch out to see better, I’m going to get off my bike, and drag the son of bitch out of his big bad vehicle and pound the living shit out of him.
OK, I won’t. But I reserve the right to really, really want to.
I’m sorry if you didn't take my earlier advice and are still reading this, drive a Brontomobile, and are otherwise polite, courteous, and know how to park. I mean that sincerely because I would like to meet you. I would like to ask you why it is, in your opinion, that so many other SUV owners are such arrogant pricks? Why is it that 90% of the idiots on the road that cut me off, pull out in front of me without sufficient room to do so, and park in more than one space drive SUV’s? Perhaps I found the answer over at Alternet.
...according to New York Times reporter Keith Bradsher's new book, "High and Mighty," the connection between the two isn't a coincidence. Unlike any other vehicle before it, the SUV is the car of choice for the nation's most self-centered people; and the bigger the SUV, the more of a jerk its driver is likely to be.... Bradsher reports, SUV buyers tend to be "insecure and vain. They are frequently nervous about their marriages and uncomfortable about parenthood. They often lack confidence in their driving skills. Above all, they are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in their neighbors and communities. They are more restless, more sybaritic, and less social than most Americans are. They tend to like fine restaurants a lot more than off-road driving, seldom go to church and have limited interest in doing volunteer work to help others." ...
He says, too, that SUV drivers generally don't care about anyone else's kids but their own, are very concerned with how other people see them rather than with what's practical, and they tend to want to control or have control over the people around them.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
So how ‘bout it Kossaks? Are you a self centered asshole or do you drive something more sensible?
If you're driving an SUV, please, for pity's sake, take the "support the troops" magnet off - it's just pathetic to see that.