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Holy Fucking Shit.  Last night, while minding my own heterosexual business, I was attacked, ATTACKED MIND YOU, by a large cohort of lesbians brandishing pink pistols*.

I've been forced to enter into the witness protection program, out of fear that this marauding multistate* terrorist organization* may convert me to lesbianism.*

Swear to God it's true.  Just ask Bill O'Rielly.*

*No, really, it's in the YouTube video.  I'm not making this shit up.

Maybe we should be asking ourselves, what are we going to do about the lesbian gang problem and how am I going to keep my daughter from turning into... you know... a career lesbian criminal mastermind?

OMFG THERE IS TEH UPDATE!!!!1oneone

The "Fox News Crime Analyst" has responded on his OWN WEBPAGE!
Via the interblogs:

During the O’Reilly Factor segment on June 21st, while engaged in a discussion on Lesbian gangs, I inadvertently stated that gang members carry pistols that are painted pink and call themselves the "Pink Pistol Packing Group." I was not referring to the gay rights group "Pink Pistols" who advocates for the lawful rights of gays to carry weapons for protection. Further, I mentioned that there are "over 150 of these gangs" in the greater Washington DC area. What I actually meant is that there are over 150 gangs in the Washington DC area, some of which are in fact lesbian gangs. Lastly, I mentioned in the segment that there is this "national epidemic" of lesbian gangs. A better choice of words would have been to say that there is a growing concern nationally, and especially in major urban areas, of increased gang activity, which includes some lesbian gang activity.

So, in short, he lied.  His CV will be retained by Fox News.  Thx.

Originally posted to Jeremiah on Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 09:27 AM PDT.

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