"The Politics of My..." Series is an effort to document seperate angles of my life thusfar through a political lens, linking my past personal history to current LGBT news.
It was the best first kiss one could ask for. It happened on Valentine's day, three distant years ago. I remember it so well because I remember every Valentine's Day very well. The day is the biggest holiday of the year for me, though I celebrate in a markedly different way than do others who follow a more consumerist variety of celebration.
We met, as do so many of us young ones these days, on a social networking site. It was before Myspace or Facebook was on my radar. For those teens who still remember when Xanga was in vogue, that was the site where we met. He happened across my teenage attempt at an LGBT Civil Rights blog and we commented back and forth before we agreed to meet.
Our first date was on that very same v-day, where we went to the most romantic place we could afford, Blimpie's (hey, we were high school students, we couldn't afford decent restaurants, not saying I can afford them now as a college student though... unless my date is paying ;) ).
It was then that I realized how messy of an eater I actually was. Word of advice to those who are thinking about entering the dating scene for the first time, never EVER order anything that might potentially involve ketchup.
It was a cold and rainy day, but we decided to walk in Central Park. I remember so vividly walking next to him, dying to hold his hand, but being way too scared to actually do it. No, I'm not just talking about being afraid of holding hands with another man in a homophobic environment, I'm talking of something that we all feel, whatever our sexual identity, when we first realize we want to be held by someone we love.
You know that feeling, that moment when you want to hold their hand or kiss them suddenly, but you're not sure if they're ready for it. I finally worked up the nerve to hold his hand. It was more of a grab really, and instead of a loving grip I had more of a vicelike clamp. It was a combination of my nervousness and excitement. Quickly realizing the awkwardness of my handholding, I let go and suddenly found an intense interest in my shoelaces as I walked.
I don't remember exactly what we spoke about, it was not important, we both knew it was filler. For those New Yorkers out there, we eventually found outselves walking along the lake found midway into Central Park's 59th Street border. It was drizzling by then, and we didn't have an umbrella.
Tiring of walking, we eventually sat down and, after a few more seconds of actually pretending to be totally interested in whatever it was we were talking about, one of us leaned in to kiss the other, I don't remember which one. I don't know if was due to the cold weather or what, but the kiss that insued to this day remains the hottest kiss I've ever had, and I don't just mean in a "hot meaning awesome" way. It actually was temperature-like hot, like kissing one of those heated stones you find in saunas.
That kiss symbolized so much for me. It was the first same-sex action I ever took with another boy. It also symbolized for me the actual possibility of dating. Until then, I never had anyone particularly interested in me. I felt happy to experience something that I very enthusiastically endorse for all couples, a public display of affection.
The kiss was also not what I imagined. I always thought that my first kiss would be in a private setting, that it would be longer and that it would be followed by lots of cuddling (which is the biggest treat in the world as far as I'm concerned... even better than chocolate).
For 4 brief seconds I didn't think about being seen, I just enjoyed a moment that I honestly thought was not going to happen until college. Soon however, being my nervous, closeted self, I ended the kiss. Out of the corner of my eye I swore I saw an eldery man walking his dog, smiling in our direction.
At the time I didn't think of my kiss as political, but this recent news item on 365gay.com reminded me of how lucky I was not to have faced any negative reactions for kissing another boy in public 3 years ago on that memorable Valentine's Day:
Hundreds of gays and lesbians staged a mass kiss-in at Rome's famed Colosseum Thursday to protest last week's arrest of two men who shared a kiss in front of the tourist attraction.
Despite mounting pressure police Friday said they would not drop the charges of "lewd conduct" against the men.
If convicted the pair could be sentenced up to two years in prison.
This post is for all of us to share our first kiss stories with each other. Please, let's all share our stories, both good and bad. Again, I'll leave this post up to you guys to expand on.