Washington, Aug. 27 (crAP) -- Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, five minutes after having submitted his resignation to President George W. Bush, was asked by a passer-by whether the rumor was true that he had resigned.
"I have no memory of having submitted such a letter or of having any conversation with the President about anything at all," Mr. Gonzales replied.
The former Attorney General immediately returned to his office at the Department of Justice, though he could not remember what he was supposed to do there.
Senator Leahy (D-Vt.) stated that "Mr. Gonzales' actions and behavior seem awfully suspicious. If he has resigned, why wasn't Congress told? I need to start drafting some more subpoenas immediately or do something else threatening."
President Bush, through a statement issued by former (wink, wink) administration bad guy Karl Rove, said that whether Mr. Gonzales has indeed resigned is a matter of Executive Privilege, and no one, especially Senator Leahy, has any damn right to know whether it really happened.
Fox News immediately began labeling anyone who talks about the resignation as a surrender monkey.
On Wall Street, prices went sideways.