How many times have we heard this (emphasis mine)?
NEW YORK (AFP) - CIA director Michael Hayden warned Friday that Al-Qaeda was plotting fresh ATTACKS!!! on the United States aimed at SOWING DEATH AND DESTRUCTION ON A MASSIVE SCALE!!!
His comments came just days ahead of the sixth anniversary of the SEPTEMBER 11 ATTACKS!!!
Gee, thanks, Mr. Helper, you Dwight-Schrute-meets-Marvin-the-Martian-looking motherfucker, but I have a few questions if I may.
How do you know?
"Our analysts assess with high confidence that Al-Qaeda's central leadership is planning high impact plots against the American homeland," Hayden told the Council on Foreign Relations in New York.
Oh. You mean high-confidence plots like this one or this one or this one?
Because the White House says "not so much." Is the recent White House statement the reason this warning had to come from you, perhaps?
[Just asking.]
Next question: This doesn't have anything to do with the bin Laden video, does it?
The Bin Laden video, first reported Thursday by US officials monitoring militant websites, would be the first such appearance by the militant leader since October 2004, when he threatened new attacks on the United States.
I'll take that as a "yes" then.
"I want to be as clear as I can about the threat we face," Hayden said, saying the Central Intelligence Agency would use "every inch we're given" by the US government to wage the "war on terror" and hunt down militants.
"We bear responsibility for standing watch on this threat," he said. "Our nation is in a state of armed conflict with Al-Qaeda and its affiliates. It's a conflict that is global in scope," he added.
You know, since you brought it up, CIA guy, ummm... how do I put this?...
WHERE THE FUCK IS OSAMA BIN LADEN???
I mean, call me a treasonist, but I'm starting to get a feeling here that what matters to you -- what really matters to you -- is deflecting American anger at your abject incompetence and failure and replacing it with fear. I'm starting to wonder if when you remind us of the evil that lurks out there, what you're really doing is reminding us that there's somebody more despicable than you.
Nah.
I'm sure you're just looking out for our best interests. No doubt by the time I get to the end of this article, I'll understand what I'm supposed to do to mitigate the risks you speak of in your warning, right?
Right?
"It's very hard to see this thing as anything less than war" criticizing the media for references such as a "so-called war on terror."
The danger the United States faced, he said, was "more real than anything our citizens at home have confronted since our Civil War."
"This is a form of warfare unlike any other in our country's history. It's an intelligence war as much as a military one, actually maybe it's an intelligence war more than it's a military one."
Wait...that's it?
What are the targets???
What are we supposed to DO??? Should we buy duct tape??? Go shopping??? Report a neighbor??? Bite a pillow??? Pledge allegiance to the fucking flag??? Jump down, turn around, pick a bail of fucking cotton???
What???
Hayden: Do you have a point? Or should we just assume this warning is just like this one and this one and this one ad infinitum; a calculated canard designed to keep the complacent complacent, and stuff dissent back into the jar?
Because if I'm right in that assumption, terrorists have no greater ally than you and your ilk.