I won't get into names and all, since this ain't Zagats.com, but I just have to comment on how marvelous the experience was.
The food was great! No lead based paint found leaking into the food!
The place was clean, no live pets (pandas, etc) lying around the kitchen or dining areas!
No violence! At no point did a martial arts fights break out, nor did any Hong Kong triads start shooting the place up with exquisite slo-mo, two-glocks-in-one-hand, rapid-fire gunplay!
But here's the real kicker:
Our host and waiters all spoke perfect English! Can you believe that? I just can't get over it!!
So for all you Kossacks who have been avoiding Chinese restaurants because of possible dangers I say, pshaw, g'wan ahead and indulge yourself! Chinese restaurants are great!
P.S.: leave yer yuans at home. The majority of these fine establishments accept good ol' American greenbacks!