Henceforth, Heather Wilson, Republican candidate for Senate from the great state of New Mexico, shall be known as Heather "Nipples" Wilson.
Why? Because Heather was shocked and awed by Janet Jackson's innocent, cinnamon nipple. It did not, and could not, do Heather any harm, but she latched on to it as a symbol of all that is wrong with America.
Kos referred to it as "Nipplegate" earlier today. Inevitably, this provoked some cramping from what Kos would call the Women's Studies Set.
Forgive me (especially Sally, because you know I love you), but this is really, really stupid.
First of all, I am a proud veteran of the Pie Wars (on the good, pro-Women side), and I am not afraid to call Kos out when I think he's done wrong (and to Kos's credit, he doesn't ban us for doing so).
Secondly, nipples are not the sole domain of women. We guys have 'em, too. Seems that we all start out female (ability for the deluxe model, if you will) in the womb, and if we aren't fully optioned, the goods aren't fulfilled. But we're capable.
Third, I see nothing wrong at all -- in fact, I think it's only right -- to never deviate from saying "Heather 'Nipples' Wilson."
Nipples are mysterious things. For half the population, they are absolutely mostly meaningless. A waste. For the other half, they can sustain life. Heather "Nipples" Wilson thinks this is dirty, and, we can only surmise, she hates the human body.
Holy cow.