I'm going to try and keep this short and sweet.
There are so many reasons that I feel the need to leave this site. A lot of reasons.
I'm tired of the needless hatred and idiocy that comes from the Primary Wars.
I've got a lot of personal issues. Debt, personal life, family, more than all that but I'm not going into all that.
I'm not saying goodbye to the movement. I'll probably still check out the site from time to time.
But frankly, my problems are way too important for me to stay here and contribute.
My birthday was yesterday, and it just left me feeling empty. I haven't accomplished anything worthwhile, anything of value. I've missed out on countless opportunities because I've waited for cues, waited for signals, waited for anything and everything that would help me give meaning to my life and my actions.
And the waiting is what's fucked me, over and over, repeatedly and again.
I'm not announcing a candidacy or anything like that. I'm not announcing anything other than I've decided that I've wasted my life waiting.
I'm not waiting anymore. I'm not wishing anymore. I'm not spending any more of my time hoping against hope that my life will change for the better based on my desires or hopes.
I wish I was at a place in my life where I could still help the progressive cause, and could still help to make a difference, but I'm too tired of the Democratic party fucking everything up and I'm too tired of putting my life on hold for other people. I'm tired of wasting away, hoping for something to make me happy while I post trite comments and simple diaries, pretending that I make any difference in anything.
I'll miss a lot of people on this site, way too many to start naming names. I can literally think of dozens and dozens of names of writers who have touched my life on this site, but I'm going to refrain from naming any of them. I'm sorry, but I just can't spend the time naming names, thinking about who made a difference to me. Just know that everyone who has ever written a dailykos diary has influenced me, everyone who wrote a comment has made me think and ponder, try and fix my arguments and thoughts.
But right now, I have too much to do, too much to fix as far as my life goes, too much to try and change. I've missed so many opportunities and chances for reasons that don't need to be stated, and I'm tired of making excuses and frankly I'm tired of contributing to a site that is really just taking time away from me and whatever portions of my life that need to be changed or fixed.
This wasn't an easy decision to make, and I really wish I could just have it both ways, but I can't. I care deeply about this country and politics, but I also care deeply about my debts, my family and my personal life, all of which have suffered and are suffering. I need to concentrate on myself and my life's problems, and I can't do that and contribute to this site.
Not anymore.
Again, I'll miss so many of you I won't even begin to name you. The only name I'll give is georgia10, who was the only reason I examined my political opinions and compared them to the Bush Administration's. She was the only reason I came to this site, and without her influence, there'd be no TheBlaz.
Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, you all must judge for yourselves.
So this is goodbye, hopefully not forever but who knows. Keep fighting the good fight, keep fighting for progressive values and issues. Just because I will no longer post here doesn't mean I'm not going to be involved with progressive issues, but I feel that I can no longer put politics above my own life and my own issues.
I'm sure this sounds depressing, and frankly it is. It's been a shitty night and a shitty few months, but this is something I've thought about for a long time. Long before any of my current issues have surfaced.
So goodbye everyone, and I hope to see you again once I get my issues sorted out. Keep fighting, never give up and don't ever quit. Although I've left this site, I'll never leave the battle.