I am fed up with infants sucking off the government’s teat. SCHIP was cancelled for a reason: because children need to learn that life is not fair. If we let them gain control over us than it’s all over. We cannot allow them to have that kind of power over their health. Canceling SCHIP does not go far enough, especially when the youngest of our children are getting free, not-for-profit breast milk. How can the government allow for this economic disaster? Forget about the housing crash, Iraq War spending and the outsourcing of American jobs; these infants are literally sucking our economy dry. We need to teach our children from an early age that profiting off of other people’s pain or suffering is like taking health care from a baby. This is one reason why I refuse to divest from Darfur. Let the market give people human digity, I am making a killing.
Calling all mothers who breast feed. I know what I am about to say may come as a shock, but get over it. You need to stop breast feeding your babies until breast milk is privatized. Now you may think that we are trying to control your body, believe me, I’ve heard that one before. No, this is about enforcing rules on your child who thinks that they can go through life receiving hand outs and freebies. This is why I get my water in a bottle and buy my apples from some homeless person on the corner. I do not just collect water from streams or pick apples off of orange trees. When God gives you an apple, it is a trick! Run!
Ladies, do not allow your child to breast feed no matter what. It is for the good of America. You may have to put up with the whining for a few days but then, believe me it will eventually stop when they are malnourished enough. If your baby happens to grow ill don’t worry. You are just training a child to stop sucking on the government’s teat. Discipline is the best medicine, especially when SCHIP is not there to help. They will have to pull themselves up from their poot craps, the way that Jesus intended.
Now some people may argue that breast feeding will lose its intimacy if a private corporation monitors ever last drop of milk being distributed. Not at all. Privatizing is privacy. In fact, it will be just as intimate, and the computer chip that we install in the breast (a chip that will monitor output) will prevent those painful baby bites. Nothing is worse than teething, except of course, socialized medicine.
The breast milk industry will push women into the work force. We can change the designation of breast feeding by labeling it a manufacturing job. America’s manufacturing sector will skyrocket and we don’t even need to grow hemp, the devil’s weed. We wouldn’t even need to pay for the production of breast milk. If you ask me, what good is breast feeding if nobody profits off of it?
Some people may say that breast feeding is a natural process but so is profiting off of nature’s bounty. When the oil starts gushing you don’t invest in solar. There is less profit in the sun and it gives out its rays for free. Boycott Coppertone and show the sun who is boss. You will not be forced to bask in its bright, blinding socialist rays. God shed His grace on thee, not His sun beams.
The privatization of breast milk will lead to more manufacturing jobs, less sunscreen, increased government surveillance, and most importantly, the extinction of socialized medicine. And isn’t that what really matters? Think of the children.